


Stay the Night (I'll Change Your Mind)

by Amyjz90



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Confused Louis, Fluff, Gay Harry, Gay Liam, M/M, Straight Louis, Strangers to Friends, Strangers to Lovers, straight niall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16464863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyjz90/pseuds/Amyjz90
Summary: When Louis' friend Niall brings his colleague and friend to one of their nights out, Louis begins struggling with his own thoughts and doubting his life choices and his own desires. Will he give in?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Boneralove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boneralove/gifts).



> First of all, I would like to thank my friend, for pushing me to write this story and explore my limits and helping me with editing and correcting many mistakes. This chapter was edited more than three times for it to end up the way it is now. Please enjoy it and leave nice comments. Constructive criticism is more than welcome as well since English isn't my first language.
> 
> The utilization of songs between paragraphs is inspired by dolce_piccante: (https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolce_piccante/profile), one of my favorite fanfic writers.
> 
> Please enjoy

Waking up early was not something Louis appreciated, especially not on what is supposed to be the end of an exhausting week. However, the buzzing sound of his alarm disagreed, and went shooting straight through his ears right into his soul causing him to curse under his breath what seemed to be a “bloody hell” and absentmindedly press on his phone to turn off the bloody alarm. He opened one eye to look at the time, and let out a whimper and another noise cursing, but this time directing the curse to himself as he realized he forgot to turn off his alarm for the weekend.

The sun was just rising, and the ray of light sneaking in from the curtains into his messy room drew a very warm color that radiated the place and left him squinting his eyes. On any other day, Louis would have slept in not caring about the alarm or the sun light, but this was not any other day, this was the weekend and the sun obviously started to get on his nerves, because he lifted the sheets and jumped up angrily shouting a very loud “OKAY! I'm up, chill will you?” to the sun. It didn't make sense, but then again to Louis, nothing had the past entire week. He had trouble sleeping that week, and although he always blamed it on the massive load of work he had to get done whenever his roommate Liam asked, deep inside he knew the reason was different, or at least the biggest part of his stress was due to this thing he kept to himself.

As Louis headed to have a quick shower, Liam was in the kitchen preparing what smelled like eggs and bacon from the bathroom. Liam was always the better chef in the house, he always prepared the most delicious and creative sandwiches Louis had ever tasted. The one experience Louis had in cooking, they had to replace the oven, and Liam denied him from ever entering the kitchen again. 

When Louis came out of the shower finally adjusting to being up early despite it being the weekend, he heard Liam whispering on the phone,

“Mate, you cannot talk to him about it. Ever!”

Louis tiptoed into the corridor and truly hated himself for eavesdropping on his mate, but something inside him made him pretty sure Liam was talking about him with someone, and that someone must be Niall, their friend. So, he kept silent and tried his best to listen to the conversation.

“I know that! But he should be the one doing that. Yes, okay, but we can't force it out of him..”

A moment of silence filled the place while Louis tried to push the thought to the back of his head. That's it, he thought. They must be talking about the “incident.” He was about to walk to the kitchen when he heard Liam speak again, and this time he knew for a fact they were talking about it.

“Niall, you've seen how he got around this Harry friend of yours. Okay, yeah maybe he was drunk, but I don't know mate. Let's just trust that he will figure it out on his own yeah? Alright, mate. Yeah see you soon.”

The previous weekend, when Liam and Niall suggested a trip to the bar right across from their place to unwind and drink away the stress of the week before, Louis was the first to embrace the idea. Niall had mentioned that he was bringing his colleague and friend, Harry, with him and asked if it would be ok with the bunch. None of them ever had a problem in meeting new people, in fact they were always considered the most social group of people to ever exist.

“You're taking too long getting ready, Tommo, we aren't going on a date.” Liam had called out from outside Louis' room while getting ready to hit the bar that night.

For some reason, Louis froze at that comment, but then decided to reply in a joking matter after opening his bedroom door, “if I were gay...nope not even then. I still wouldn't date you, love. Don't flatter yourself.” The sentence was a bit too heavy on his heart, and he always winced, when saying such things.

Whoever knew Louis Tomlinson, knew that he had always been seen with a girl by his side. Not a day, let alone a second, passed by without a girl in his life. For as long as he remembered, he was always meant to like girls. That's what he believed was right, and so that was what he had always done throughout the years. Like a girl, kiss a girl, and always be seen with a girl. It's not that he did not like it per say. In fact, being attracted to a girl was all he had ever felt through the years and although his best mate, Liam, was gay, and had from time to time asked Louis what he thought of different guys Liam wanted to approach in different outings, never did he feel like he should doubt his sexuality. He never had, until that night at the bar.

Once Louis and Liam were both at the bar that night, Niall called to ask where they were sitting and soon enough joined them with his friend, Harry.

“IT IS THE WEEKENDDD!” Niall shouted as he reached their table.

Louis did not notice how his breath caught in his throat as he was staring straight at the person standing next to Niall. He had this thing about him that made Louis forget how scientifically, one is supposed to inhale and exhale in order to have a decent amount of oxygen in their body. But his tall figure had a presence that made Louis unable to focus on anything other than him. He had the sweetest most precious smile which caused dimples to appear whenever spread wide over his pretty yet masculine face. His eyes had the most beautiful green Louis has ever seen, there was something about them that caused chills to run down his spine. He wore a white shirt that hung effortlessly on his broad shoulders. The black skinnies he had on made Louis wonder how someone like this figure standing in front of him could look so God-like despite his pants being too tight for comfort. Innocent yet wild, he thought as he was studying every tiny detail about this person. His train of thoughts were cut off all of a sudden when all three of them fell silent, and looked at him expectantly.

“W..what?” is all Louis could say. Someone must have asked something while he was too lost in his own mind from the way everyone was looking at him waiting for some sort of an answer.

“I'm sorry, his boss gave him a lot of work last week. It must have affected his brains.” Niall laughed it off and nudged Louis who was still waiting for the question to be asked again. Although Liam was his flatmate and somewhat one of his best mates, Niall seemed to read him more easily than anyone. Louis never understood how, but he always thought it was a talent Niall possessed, and at this exact moment, he was more than sure Niall was capable of reading his strange thoughts, and that scared him a bit. He had his reasons to be.

“It's alright. I keep dozing off myself. Don't be too hard on him. I'm Harry by the way.”

Louis shook the thoughts away and smiled shaking his hand, “Louis. Nice to meet you, mate.”

He fell back on his chair and his mind drifted off again. 'What the fuck is happening to me?' he thought. The grip of Harry's handshake added to this amazing charm he had about him. If he thought his green eyes were sending chills down his spine, his large hand engulfing Louis' made him shiver. He did not understand what was going on, all he truly knew was that there was something about Harry. Was it strength, was it good vibes, was it charm? No! Definitely not the latter. It didn't make sense. He struggled with every thought until Harry broke his train of thoughts once more. It seemed Harry was starting to form a habit of doing so to Louis.

“I wouldn't call him my boyfriend, Niall.” Harry smiled and shook his head as Niall kept teasing about the guy who keeps flirting with Harry at the office.

“So, when he 'accidentally' brushes his knuckles over your arm while trying to reach something behind you, or laughs at your stupid jokes...”

“Hey! They are not stupid, and he is being friendly. So am I”

“So, kissing him on the cheek is called being friendly these days? Good to know!”

So Harry is gay. That's all Louis was thinking about, and why was he thinking about this? He shouldn't care. Liam is too, and he never judged him. But that's not why he was thinking it. He wasn't judging, but something weird was certainly going on.

Harry was not better at being slick staring either, because Louis could have sworn he caught him looking as if he were staring right into his soul. But then again, he shouldn't be over analyzing everything. Just because Harry is gay, does not mean he would be attracted to Louis. Why was Louis even thinking about this? He must have dozed off too deep in his thoughts that he did not hear his phone buzzing on the table until Niall finally brought it to his attention.

“Do you not want to answer that?”

He looked at his phone and saw a picture of his girlfriend on the screen. For the first time, oddly enough, he felt heat creeping up his spine and absentmindedly flipped his phone face down on the table, therefore ignoring the call.

“Thought you were going on your date with El, what changed your mind? She seemed pretty excited as well.” Niall asked and Louis for some unexplainable reason looked at Harry who seemed to have a somewhat disappointed look. Yes, Louis is definitely over analyzing and he should stop and maybe answer Niall's question.

“I see her every day, mate. I need to see my friends too.”

“Don't you mean every night?” Liam wiggled his eyebrows and nudged his elbow.

It would have been a normal conversation on a different day, but this specific day with this Harry person around, the atmosphere became too tense to his own bearing. Instead of laughing or being his normal joking self when talking about a matter as such, he gave an awkward smile and stood from his chair with a “I'm going to grab a drink.” and left without waiting for an answer from any of his friends or Harry.

He found himself comfortable in his seat at the bar ten minutes into ordering his drink, and felt like it was safe to stay there as long as he could and avoid any sort of communication with anyone at his table, let alone Harry. He did not know what was going on, but there was a strange feeling that he kept pushing to the back of his head. Maybe it was just stress, or the fights he'd been having with Eleanor. He just felt like he needed a moment to recollect himself and so he stayed where he was, at the bar with a beer in his hand, and a mind full of thoughts that did not make any sense to him.

“Do you always ditch your friends?” A voice came from over his shoulder and he almost broke his neck twisting it to look at Harry who was taking a seat next to him with a smile on his face.

“H..Hey. Yeah..Sorry no. I mean..I just needed a moment.” Louis wanted to kick himself for stumbling over his own words and being so stupid. But Harry just nodded as if he understood Louis. As if he knew him for a very long time and could easily read him. He was about to leave, respecting Louis needing space as the latter quickly said, “No, please..I mean you do not have to go. Stay if you'd like.”

Harry's smile grew wider on his face, and there it was. The dimples appeared again and Louis was sure he was going to need to drink every beverage they offer at the bar to stop thinking about his dimples. When did he start appreciating these details? In fact, when did he start appreciating details about other men? He shook his head trying to come out of the thoughts that made his head spin, and was met with Harry's furrowed eyebrows and questioning expression.

“My head and I were having a debate.”

Harry laughed and nodded, “from the looks of it, your head won.”

Louis let out a genuine laugh the first time that evening, but still decided to keep ordering drinks until he passed out, because the thoughts running in his head were driving him insane. Maybe delusional even. When he looked over to Harry, he saw him unbuttoning the first four buttons on his white shirt revealing silky smooth inked skin and there it was again. The staring. He could not keep his eyes off of him and he did not know why. Well, maybe he did, but knowing he was straight and had a girlfriend, he knew for a fact it was a bit weird to be fascinated or maybe even infatuated by the green-eyed man sitting next to him.

“My body and I were having a debate.” Harry laughed as he copied Louis. Louis did not know what made him smile more, the fact that Harry was easing the tension by cracking a similar joke, or the fact that he seemed to read Louis' mind and answer the unasked question of why he was unbuttoning his shirt.

“Win-win situation,” Louis felt so stupid after saying that because he had meant it in a completely different way than it came out to be, or did he? He must be getting really tipsy, because what he said gave Harry the impression he liked to see him undress. Maybe he did, but no one had to know. Louis started blushing as he bit his bottom lip regretting spitting out flirtatious sentences in Harry's direction. He just wanted to escape his mind because these thoughts were not his own. He blamed it on the alcohol. It must be the alcohol, he thought.

“Oh,” is all Harry managed to say. Louis started rambling about different topics to distract Harry and divert his attention to other things in hopes that he would take everything Louis says as a joke.

“Payno, do you notice something?” Niall nudged Liam who then looked at the bar where Louis and Harry were sitting too close to each other.

“Yes, I do. Hot legs!” Liam was licking his lips while eyeing Harry.

“No, you idiot. Wait what? No! Notice something weird?” Niall said with brows furrowed and then sat back at his seat with his eyes on both Harry and Louis when Liam was getting too drunk to even hear him.

The drinks kept coming until Louis was completely drunk and laughing with Harry at random things. Harry occasionally brushed his hand on Louis' arm making him flinch every time, and then blamed it on the alcohol making him unable to control his arms and hands flying in Louis' direction. When Harry got uncomfortably close to Louis at one point only to shout something in his ear because the music was loud, Louis got up from his seat before Harry even got to finish his sentence, and awkwardly headed to the dance floor waving his arm to Harry saying he was off to dance. 

Louis was so drunk and thought it would be a good idea to prove to Harry he was not interested so he started grinding and dirty dancing with any girl he saw on the dance floor. But, was he trying to convince Harry or his own mind? He didn't care. He had to get away from him, because every second around him, made him for the first time in his life question his sexuality. 

From where Louis was dancing, Harry was still seated at the bar watching Louis go completely crazy on the dance floor, but something must have triggered Harry as he saw him call out for the other lads as a signal to leave.

“Wwhhherre tooo?? Bbbut weee are haavving fuuun!” Louis was so drunk his words came out as pleading to Harry who was more centered and more sober.

“We are leaving mate. Come on, let's go. Party is over.” Liam said before Louis had the chance to wrap his arms around Harry. 

“Okay. We are going back to our place. Who is driving who? I can drive, I'm sober. Louis and Liam are definitely hammered, but I can only deal with one whining drunk in my car. Harry, can you take Louis with you?” Niall said the last question as a statement and so Harry nodded and held Louis by his waist and led him to his car.

“Youuu smell like flowersss. Prettyy Flowerrss.” Louis had his nose in Harry's neck and his drunk self took over from there. “Did I tell youuu you smell liiike ...flowwers?” Harry laughed and helped him get in the passenger seat.

“We need to get you to sober up, don't go to sleep ok?”

“You're sweet. I like you.” Louis smiled and looked out the window next to him when Harry smiled, started the engine and started driving.

The ride was mostly Louis flirting with Harry. It was supposed to be the other way around, given that Harry was the one attracted to men not Louis, but Harry liked it so he occasionally gave a smile or gently grabbed Louis' thigh, to which Louis' answer would come out as a whimper or something that sounded like “keep it there.”

[The Cranberries' Dreams Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yam5uK6e-bQ) started playing on the radio when Louis gasped and raised the volume so high before shouting “STOP THE CAR!” Harry hit the brakes so quickly and looked over to Louis with a shocked scared stare. Niall had a baffled look on his face when he abruptly stopped the car behind them and stepped out thinking to himself that Louis must have felt sick and wanted to throw up.

“What is it? Do you need to throw up? Is something wrong?” is all Harry managed to ask.

“Nooo, silly. This is THE place. Come on.”

Harry's face gave out the impression he was thinking Louis must be insane and not only drunk, simply because not only was it raining cats and dogs outside, but they also were on the tower bridge at midnight and Louis was running like a crazy person into the middle of a road full of cars honking.

“What the hell are you doing?” Harry came running after him laughing. Louis saw him trying to cover his head from all the rain with his large hands. “You are gonna get yourself killed, you idiot.”

“Booo. You are not fun Hazza.”

Harry blinked twice at that nickname but smiled, and stopped inches away from Louis who was staring up at him with lashes dripping of water. He kept averting his eyes from Harry's soaking wet body as his clothes were clinging to his chest revealing a very clear view for Louis to see both his nipples, but his mind must have played tricks on him being drunk and all because he ended up spitting out, “I can.. see yourrr nipples.” Harry's cheeks were starting to turn red or at least that’s what Louis had felt, but it was night time after all, and the lights in the street may have played a part in that.

“So, you did not answer my question.”

“Which question, Haarryy?” Of course Louis forgot. He was drunk off of his arse, and could not form a whole sentence without mixing up letters. He kept tripping over his own feet until Harry stepped even closer and held him by the waist to support him. Louis felt as if every inch Harry was taking towards him, made him sober up more and more, until he felt the heat of his breath near his mouth. Louis' heart started pounding in his chest and he felt his stomach clench. “W..What are you doing?” was all he could form when Harry leaned in. He lifted Louis' hands and placed them on his chest for support. Louis could feel Harry's hard nipples but for some reason, he did not want to remove his hands from where they were placed. He could have sworn he heard Harry whisper something in his ear that seemed to be “you are beautiful” and “I wish you weren't...” then moved his lips caressing Louis' jawline until he was just a breath away from his mouth.

Louis broke the silence and the intense moment with a quick blurt of words, “My place..this. Yeah..I mean I have a bridge song.”

Harry took one step back and looked at him with wide questioning eyes.

Louis had a some kind of ritual when it rained. Whenever he found a good song, he would come to the tower bridge regardless of the cars passing by and honking, play that song and dance under the rain like a crazy person. He knew it was crazy and he would probably get sick the morning after, or even get hit by a car for all that matters, but it was one of the things that made him feel alive.

“Come onnn, dance with mee!” Louis was swirling around Harry and Harry couldn't help but smile and humor him moving his hips in an attempt to actually dance.

Niall got back in his car, cut off the engine and looked at Liam with a puzzled look on his face, “Payno, I thought this was Louis' special thing with El, thought this place was their own thing?”

“I thoooought ttthat was El. It's not??” Liam was clearly too drunk to tell the difference between a male and a female at this point. But then again, from where they sat in their car, the way the two boys danced under the rain a distance from them, made them seem like two people who liked each other, so it's fair to think that was his girlfriend who he loves. But Niall just ignored Liam's drunken state and told him to just enjoy the music blasting from Harry's car.

Once the song ended, Louis felt dizzy from all the drinking and dancing and asked that they go back to the car. The rest of the drive to Niall's was silent as Louis fell asleep saying random things to Harry which included, “why are you a man?” and “I can't” and all that did was make Harry's mouth sag in what seemed to be a mixture of sadness and confusion.

When they reached the house, Harry did not want to wake Louis. So he carried him up the stairs, feeling a little awkward as Louis instinctively put his arms around his neck in his sleep. He gently placed him on the couch, when he opened his eyes to say, “thank you,” and fell back to sleep. Liam did not even care that he wasn't home when he kicked off his shoes and headed straight to the bedroom and threw himself on the bed.

“So, Harold, what do you wanna do since these idiots fell asleep on us?”

Harry being Harry, although he remembered he needed to help a friend that night, he did not want to leave Niall after promising to spend the night at their place with the other two, so he just smiled and said, “let's drink some more, and hope to reach their level of drunkenness.” He and Niall found a spot near the couch Louis was snoring on, positioned some cushions and fell on the floor with bottles of different drinks in hopes of getting as drunk the others.

“I don't think he loves her.” Niall blurted out and Harry shot him a confused look, “Louis.”

Harry felt his face flush with redness and embarrassment, but went on with a question anyway, “why are they together then?”

“I don't know, to be honest. Louis has always had a girlfriend, whether it felt right or wrong. Eleanor, however, lasted more than all of them. I never understood their relationship, because most of the time, Louis would come up with excuses not to see her, and whenever I told him to break up with her, he would give me the 'i love her' speech. But I don't think he does.” Niall wanted to say something but he felt it would be wrong somehow, so he just went on, “but what do I know? relationships are complicated,” and they both laughed it off and kept drinking until Niall finally gave in to the alcohol effect.

“I think I should leave. I promised Nick I'd help him out with something. You look like you could use some sleep, and I think it's better if I want to catch a cab since I can't drive in this state, that I leave now. I'll let myself out and be back later.” Harry got up from his cushion as he noticed the other boy was seconds away from falling asleep by his side.

“Where are you going?” A voice came from behind Harry as he reached for the doorknob, and when he turned around Louis was up and stumbling over his feet on his way to Harry.

“It's late, I have to leave...erm, I have to see a friend. Why are you up? Go back to sleep.” Harry's voice was so deep and low that Louis' breath hitched.

Louis was not sure whether the next thing he did was due to being extremely drunk or whether it was because he wanted to do it all night, but all he did was go up to Harry and stand as close as he physically could. He was drunk, but even in that state he saw Harry's pupils dilate and his hands shake as if debating whether to reach out for Louis or not. To Harry's surprise, Louis stood on his toes to reach the taller boy standing in front of him, tucked his long curls behind his ear and leaned so close, that Harry let out a heavy breath. “You are beautiful, too.” was all Louis said for Harry to lean down and press his lips to the corner of his mouth.

“You forgot...ohh.” Niall came after Harry to tell him he forgot his phone and was surprised to see what was going on. It wasn't that Niall would ever judge, but for all he knew, Louis was not only straight, but had a girlfriend who he claimed he loved, and although he was always sure Louis did not really love Eleanor, he never suspected something as such to happen.

Louis opened his eyes and pushed Harry away from him with all the strength he had. He looked scared, and confused, but mostly so lost that he didn't want to acknowledge he may have wanted it all night. He turned to look at Niall, and froze in place confident that he could be heard screaming on the inside.

Harry also saw the fear in Louis’ eyes as he stammered: “I'm...sorry.. I didn't..I did not mean to..” Harry heard his heart pound in his ears. He knew he had made a terrible mistake, and stormed out before anything else could happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _The night is on your lips and I feel like I'm locked in_  
>  _There's a million lights, I don't care if they're watching_  
>  _Your body is saying everything, I don't have to read your mind_  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> **One Direction - Temporary Fix**  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! Chapter 2 is finally here! I have been having a hard time phrasing the ideas I have! But, I have finally managed to make it work, I hope. I will be alternating POVs. This one will obviously be Harry's, and this is how it will go.
> 
> Thank you sooo much for all the kudos you left, I am doing my best to make this as enjoyable as possible for all of you!
> 
> A huge thank you for my friend who keeps beta'ing for me! Forever grateful for her.
> 
> Please enjoy this one, and leave some comments and kudos. xx

The week following the “incident” as everyone was now referring to it, including Harry himself, had been a very long and exhausting one. Since Harry works at the post office right down the street where he and Niall live, it gave him an excuse to sleep in until just fifteen minutes before his shift starts. Although he did like sleeping and resting, that wasn't the only reason that made him appreciate his warm comfy bed this week. The previous weekend was like a strange mixture of lovely and pure shit. Harry had never been the type to get emotionally involved, in fact, he liked having one-night stands because, as he liked to describe them, they were easy on the heart. He never let his emotions get involved, because one way or the other, someone leaves, and he despised that idea. Ever since his dad left when he was about eight years old, he decided that love is a fairytale, and he is forever better off. When he met Louis that weekend, everything around him gave him a red alert as if telling him to “stay away.” He tried, and almost managed to drop it and appreciate the new possible friend he gained until Louis got in his space and pushed his buttons.

When he woke up the morning after, he had a pounding headache and a flashback to the events of the previous night. However, as soon as he recalled every bit including the one with fear written all over Louis' face, he did not even think twice about erasing it from his memory and pretending it never happened. He even convinced himself that seeing Louis would not be that frequent, and if shit hit the fan, he would nicely apologize and blame it on the alcohol. Louis would understand, after all, he was drunk as well and subconsciously flirting with Harry. He stopped his train of thoughts from even reaching anywhere near its destination and carried on with his week like a normal person would, trying his best to preoccupy himself with either work or just hanging out with Niall at the flat watching a movie or two. It seemed to work, as he thought it would, because why wouldn't it? Louis is just another guy he mistook for being gay, and nothing happened. That kiss doesn't count, he kept convincing himself until he actually believed it. He knew Niall saw it, but if he had any comments about what he saw, he thankfully did not let them out, and although Harry was somehow careless towards such moments, he was forever thankful for his friend not interfering, if he can call it that.

It was almost the end of the week again when Niall came up to him while he was curled up on the couch with a banana in one hand and a remote control in the other. For one fracture of a second, he almost ate the remote control and changed the channel with the banana. He was clumsy like that, which caused Niall to let out a very loud laugh causing Harry to roll his eyes.

“Yo, you got any plans for this weekend?” Niall asked waiting for Harry's answer, and Harry knew there was a follow-up suggestion after his question.

“Get drunk. Find a guy. Get in his pants. Get him out of my fucking bed in the morning!” Harry let out a smirk at his own thoughts which caused Niall to flick his nipple causing him to cover his chest and mouth an “ouch” to Niall.

“You're unbelievable. Okay, so...I was thinking..” Harry knew Niall was going to suggest something he wouldn't really be down for. Every time Niall knew his idea would not appeal to Harry, he would start his sentence with so, I was thinking and it would never end well. It never had, at least not for Harry.

“No.” Harry simply replied without even hearing Niall's suggestion. It could have been a trip to the Bahamas, for all he knew. But knowing Niall, he didn't have to hear the rest of his sentence to know it would be a bad, bad idea.

“You did not even let me finish! What if I were offering to do the dishes for two months straight??” Niall asked with his eyebrows raised.

“Are you?”

“I mean... no. But...I was thinking we could hang out with uhm...Liam?” Harry was trying to hold his laugh because from where he was seated, Niall looked so scared, and Harry secretly loved it.

Harry was connecting dots in his head, so if they were to meet up with Liam, Louis would be there too, right? He should, they are flatmates. But, Niall said hang out which means maybe they are meeting up with Liam. It's not like Louis would be with him every time he decides to hang out with his friends, would it? Harry dwelled on the thought for a moment, then decided that even if the boy he almost kissed was there too, he would have to face him and get it over with. It was nothing after all, right?

“How's life on Mars, Harry? You like it there?” Niall snapped his fingers and brought Harry back with his loud voice.

“Very funny. Okay, sure why not?” He wanted to ask who would be there furthermore, but he did not really dare, in fear of Niall making this more of a deal than it really was. “Where are we going?”

“Umm...I mean if you don't want I will understand, but...” Niall was taking his time uttering every word of that sentence as if he were decoding a bomb.

“You know I have finished two bananas, and an apple during that very long exciting speech of yours.”

“I mean... it’s Liam's place, which is technically Louis' place, which means Louis will be there as well as Liam since it's Liam's place, as well as Louis'” Niall blurted out and shielded his body with both arms as if Harry was going to attack him any second now.

“You do realize you kept paraphrasing your sentence, right? And get those stupid arms down, what do you think I am. I will go.”

“Huh?” Niall was probably speechless letting his arms slowly uncover his body and rest on his thighs. “I said we were going to hang out at...”

“I heard what you said, Niall. Louis is going to be there.” He emphasized the name Louis to make Niall understand he knows what he is talking about.

Shock was written all over Niall's face, and Harry was trying to figure out why he was so surprised. Harry was not one to get emotionally attached to someone, or feel awkward in situations as such when Niall continued, his face relaxing and trying to find the best way to form his sentence.

“I just thought...I don't know. Never mind, okay! Great! Yeah, should be fine, yeah?”

“Why wouldn't it Niall? Okay, since we are talking about this, let's get it over with. Louis...Straight. Me...Gay. Last week...Mess. Liked it? Yeah. Freaking out? Not really. I was drunk and so was he, he probably saw my long hair and thought I was his girlfriend or something.” Harry was somewhat laughing. He did not know why he was explaining this at all. He never justified any of his actions and had never in his life felt the need to convince Niall or any other person of something unless he felt different about it. The more he thinks about it at this exact moment, the more he does, believe that he feels different that is.

“Ok! I just thought...Never mind,” Niall let out a breath he seemed to be holding, “we will be in charge of drinks. Louis will order food and Liam will pick a movie. It will be kind of a night in, just us chilling and talking.”

For one second, Harry tensed up when Niall said talking. It's not like he was nervous, why would he be? Just a second ago, he was sure it was all alright, and not a big deal whatsoever. Maybe he just never had the chance to talk to someone who he had an awkward encounter with before. Whenever a weird moment took place in Harry's life, it always just passed, just as fast as it started. He shook his own thoughts away and decided to let this moment be just like the others, a passing one.

It was finally the weekend, and Harry was more than thankful, because he had multiple shifts most of the days this week, and that made his body ache for just a relaxing night with nothing but a beer, a pizza and his friends. He had been preparing himself for the grand meeting with Louis. He had nothing to worry about, but in such cases, the other person usually complicated things and left Harry feeling guilty. It's true that he never really cared about those situations, but he still has a good heart and would still feel bad if the person faced some kind of a stressful time because of him.

It was almost 5 PM, and they had planned to meet at Liam's around 5:30. Harry was standing in front of his closet for what seemed to be forever. He never really took time getting ready, he always grabbed a buttoned shirt and skinnies and paired them up with some boots. He figured he will eventually go for the usual look, but for some reason, he felt the need to give this time and effort. Why? He did not have an answer and definitely avoided thinking it had to do with the blue-eyed boy. His mind wandered as he remembered his pretty eyes, “Fuck, those eyes.”

“I once read that talking to yourself is a sign of dementia.” Niall crashed Harry's room and started fixing his hair on the mirror that hung on the closet door.

“I don't know what to wear.” Harry was not planning on even commenting on Niall's sarcasm. He probably did not even hear a word he said.

Niall gasped so loud and tilted his head towards Harry dramatically, “Who are you? And what have you done to Harry?”

Harry rested one foot over the other as he leaned against his bedroom's wall and glared at Niall, preferring not to answer in hopes that he may actually help him pick something out.

“I'm still confused, but...uhm... there.” Niall grabbed a blue shirt, black ripped skinnies and black boots. Harry was gonna open his mouth and comment on the shirt when Niall stopped him, “Unbutton the first four buttons and roll the sleeves up, that should do it for you. As for the jacket, you only have one, so...”

Harry tried the outfit and did what Niall suggested, and he thought it turned out alright. He may have started overthinking for a minute regarding the colour of the shirt. What if Louis thought he wore it to match his eyes? But, that was the stupidest thought he'd ever had. Who would think that? And for the millionth time, why should he even care?

Liam and Louis' place was half an hour away from their place. The drive there was mostly quiet, for Harry always liked to focus on the road while driving, and let Niall do all the talking. This time Niall did indeed do all the talking giving Harry directions to the place. The car parked right in front of the other boys' place and both Harry and Niall got out of the car, grabbed the drinks from the backseat and walked to the door. For the first time after the incident, Harry was feeling nervous and felt like his blood was rushing through his body. He kept fidgeting until he felt a hand on his shoulder,

“It's alright, mate. You'll be fine.” Niall comforted him as he probably saw Harry was about to faint right in front of him. Niall then gave him a sweet smile and reached out for the doorbell.

“Coming! SHIT. One second!” Louis was heard from inside, as he was cursing for some unknown reason. The door opened seconds later and he was half dressed. He had some sweats on, and had one arm in one sleeve, as the other was trying to find its way in. “I'm sorry, I slept in and I just finished showering, and...oh. Fuck this, I'm taking this off. Let yourselves in.” Louis was struggling with the shirt so he took it off altogether and ran off to change and Harry, well Harry was definitely staring at his naked torso. He was devouring every tiny detail. The tattoo that stretched over his chest, the v lines showing right above the very low-waisted sweats he had on. His firm rounded ass as he turned his back and walked away. He did not know he was biting his bottom lip until Niall nudged him,

“You're drooling, mate. Get it together.” Niall was laughing as he whispered.

“Fuck off.” Harry regained his focus and walked in to find Liam tidying up the place. From the looks of it, it seemed both him and Louis took a nap and slept in. He and Niall took off their shoes and walked in. While he was looking at the place, he finally realized something. Louis was not flustered or confused. He did not act awkwardly. Maybe he doesn't remember, or maybe he does and simply does not care. It made Harry feel both better and worse at the same time. He may have wanted things to be alright, but he may have also wanted Louis to remember that night. He did not know why exactly, but he felt kind of offended.

“Hey, guys! Come on in, I'm so sorry we may have taken a really small nap and lost track of time. Thank you for the drinks!” Liam took the drinks from Niall's hands and placed them in the kitchen, and called out, “Just take a seat, I'll be right there.” Both Harry and Niall sat on a couch facing the TV in the living room. Louis was coming from his bedroom, and he looked even better. His hair was still wet from showering, leaving drops of water here and there on his white t-shirt. Harry swallowed, and kept trying to avert his eyes because otherwise he knew his pants would start to tighten up and that would definitely make things awkward.

“Now that I am fully dressed, hi,” Louis said as he hugged Niall, then turned around to Harry who was now standing awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. He was beginning to get nervous again, now that Louis was going to say hi to him next. “H..ello.” Louis awkwardly reached over to Harry not knowing whether to hug him or just shake his hand. Right then and there, it seemed it was all coming back to Louis. He settled for a handshake that now felt just as awkward as if he had just hugged him.

“Thanks for inviting me.” Harry was trying to keep his cool and not let his nerves show in his tone of voice. He was now sure Louis remembered because his eyes were fixed on Niall, even when Harry was the one speaking to him.

“Sure, sure, mate. So, let's eat and get drunk, shall we?” Louis was back to being the same talkative person Harry got the pleasure to know when he was drunk, meaning he must be loosening up, or he was really good at covering it up. Either way, Harry wasn't going to complain, he wanted the night to go as smoothly as possible, for everyone's sake. But the question of whether Louis remembers or not was still going through his head.

“Tommo, I thought you were in charge of pizza. I'm starving, mate.” Niall seemed like he could eat all his friends while waiting for the pizza.

“I ordered as soon as you texted Liam on your way here. It should be here any minute now.” Louis was again addressing everyone in the room except for Harry. Maybe it was Harry's imagination playing tricks on him. He could never really tell. He may be overthinking and over analyzing but the way Louis would prefer to sit on the floor instead of the only empty space beside Harry, gives the impression he is avoiding any sort of contact with him.

Niall had already been complaining for half an hour when finally the doorbell rang, and he was the first to jump off of the couch running to the door because he seemed to be very close to fainting from hunger. It must be the pizza delivery. He opened the door and was ready to give the person standing at the door a speech for taking such a long time to deliver a pizza, but instead, Harry could hear him let out a laugh and hold a small conversation then came back with a smirk on his face and the money still in his hand,

“Tommo, it's El.”

It took Harry a moment to remember who El was. Louis' girlfriend was on her way in, and Harry was starting to tense up all over again. This was supposed to be their night in, and this was supposed to be the day Harry had the chance to loosen up after such a long week. His thoughts were not helping, so he ignored them and watched her as she gently took her shoes off. Eleanor had a long beautiful brown hair, her eyes were the same colour but looked very warm from where Harry was seated. She had such easy on the eye features, and Harry could tell she was almost the same height as Louis. She was pretty, and Harry did not like her. He was so focused on studying every detail about her that he must have missed Louis jumping up from where he was seated, and moving over to her. He was trying so hard not to keep his eyes fixed on both of them when he saw her wrap her arms around Louis' neck and whisper something in his ear before placing a kiss on his lips. Right then and there, Harry distracted himself with his now very interesting phone, it seemed.

“El! We missed you! Come on in.” Liam called out from the living room.

“Hey, guys. I've missed you too. I'm sorry to barge in like this. I won't be here long, I promise,” Eleanor was in the middle of explaining why she was there when she obviously knew it was a guys night in until she noticed Harry, the new guy, “Hi, sorry I don't believe we’ve met before. I'm Eleanor, Louis' girlfriend.”

Harry tried his best not to wince when she said, _girlfriend_ , because let's face it, he shouldn't care. “No, we haven't. I'm Harry, Niall's colleague and flatmate.” Harry could feel his heart pounding in his chest and was hoping for a miracle to happen, so he would have an excuse to escape this moment, especially when Louis was standing next to her with his arms wrapped around her shoulder, and his eyes fixed on anything but Harry. For some reason, he was not feeling very comfortable at that moment. God must love him though, because right that second, the doorbell rang again, and he was sure it was now the delivery guy. He snatched the money from Niall's hand blurting out, “I'll get it!” and ran to the door as if he were a little kid and Santa Clause was at the door bearing gifts.

The following hour or so was spent with the guys blasting music on the radio while eating pizza, drinking beer and talking to Eleanor. She mentioned being there with them because she and her friends were supposed to meet up at around 7 PM but there was a slight misunderstanding and they were instead going to meet at 9. So she thought she could surprise her boyfriend. She was very talkative, just like Louis, and it was very captivating really, but that only made Harry dislike her even more. Maybe just maybe he wanted Louis for himself. It's true that he does not want to get emotionally attached, but he still felt like he may have wanted the attractive blue-eyed boy sitting across from him on the floor. Maybe in a not so very platonic way. So, yes, he did not like that Eleanor was actually alright, or more than alright. She was likeable, and Louis, unlike Niall's opinion, was probably in love with her.

Not a second passed without a kiss being exchanged between Louis and Eleanor, and Harry was getting tired of this. He cannot tell what makes this Louis person somehow different to him, different than any guy he has ever met. He wanted him.

The guys were getting a little bit drunk and were debating about the two movies Liam picked for them to watch, Niall was leaning towards watching The Shawshank Redemption, while Liam insisted they watch Pulp Fiction. Both movies were oldies, and Liam was the one in charge of the movie, so he kept nagging about wanting to play that one. Louis, on the other hand, was so occupied with his girlfriend who did not seem to be leaving any time soon, and Harry, well Harry couldn't care less by now about anything. He was counting the seconds for the girl to leave. She was nice, yeah, but she was not leaving Louis' side, or lap to be more accurate.

“How about you guys skip the movie and play some songs?” Eleanor broke the silence with her suggestion which made Harry roll his eyes and reach for his tenth maybe eleventh beer of the night.

They were all too tired to argue, and none of them agreed on the same movie, so El's suggestion seemed to be reasonable considering the situation. Niall jumped from his seat at the couch and connected his phone to the sound system. [Queen – Don't Stop Me Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM) started playing in the flat when Niall said, “since we were already aiming to watch an oldie, we might as well listen to one!”

Eleanor left Louis' lap, and dragged him by the hand with her, “Let's dance!”

Louis started chuckling and followed her lead. The song started with a soft melody and they were both swaying to the beat. Harry could not take any more of this, the way Louis' arms were around her waist holding her that close to his body was not something Harry liked if he was being honest. The too many beers he drank may have gotten to his head, but he was sure as hell not okay with this anymore. Louis seemed attracted to him that night at the bar. He wasn't imagining that. He may have been hammered, but Harry had always believed _booze does not make you do something you didn't want to do, it would just unleash a well-hidden desire_ as he had always explained.

When the rhythm of the song changed to a faster pace, Louis and El were dancing and laughing, Liam and Niall were dancing in their seats and carelessly singing out of tune. But from where Harry was seated, he felt the room closing in on him until he caught Louis eyeing him while holding his girlfriend so close to his body. He tried to look away and look back at them, maybe it was all in his imagination. Louis, once again, was getting drunk and just like the last time he did, he started looking at Harry seductively. It was both arousing and confusing Harry. The boy was dancing with his girlfriend but kept his eyes locked on Harry. It was getting far too overwhelming for him, so he excused himself and headed outside to sit on the swing on the porch. A minute or so later, he heard the door open and close,

[Chris Isaak - Wicked Game](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBx1Q3DEyDY)

“Do you always ditch your friends?” Louis' voice rang through his head as he used the same question Harry asked him that night at the bar when he took off to get “some space.” He remembered their conversation. That's something, Harry thought.

Harry smiled up at him and gestured for him to take a seat on the swing, “I just needed a moment.” Louis seemed to hesitate before taking a seat next to Harry, and that made Harry's smile grow even wider, leaning closer and saying “I don't bite.” That seemed to make Louis freeze for a moment, and Harry did not know whether it was the cold, or his biting suggestion. He did not dwell much on it and instead moved inches away for Louis to have a place to sit.

“Do you smoke?” Louis reached for his pocket and took out a cigarette and a lighter.

“I don't, no.”

Louis lit up his cigarette and let out a puff of smoke, “It's freezing out here.”

Harry nodded and there was a moment of silence before he finally spoke, “She seems nice.” Louis looked baffled so Harry added, “Eleanor. She seems nice.”

Every time Harry spoke, it seemed Louis would tense up. He did not know whether it was that he was affecting the boy too much, or if it was because he brought up his girlfriend.

“We have been together for ...4? 5 years, yeah.” Louis' tone sort of changed to a more cold non-caring one. It could also be that Harry was over analyzing as always.

“So since you were..?” Harry was forming his question about Louis' age in a smart way in his opinion. Asking how old the boy was directly seemed very straightforward, and had him feel that Louis might over-read into it.

“I'm twenty-five years old, Harry.” Louis nudged Harry in the elbow with a smile on his face, “And you?”

“Twenty three.” Harry let out a small laugh and looked at Louis who was still smoking. Despite the fact that he did not particularly like smokers, he found him looking extremely beautiful under the moonlight. The boy was charming him without even knowing it. Hell, maybe he does know what he's doing to Harry. He had to stop thinking about Louis, or his girlfriend, or Louis with his girlfriend, but his hand kept sneaking over to Louis' without his permission. To his very bad luck, Louis must have noticed as he stood up from where he was seated, threw the cigarette butt on the floor and stepped on it.

“Look...uhm... Harry.” Louis had never been a slow-talker, but this moment right here, he was taking so much time, and Harry was getting impatient. He wanted to apologize for kissing him, he wanted to pretend like nothing happened. He wanted to ask Louis if he meant it when he said he was beautiful. He had so many things he wanted to say, but instead, he stood right across from him and waited for whatever he had trouble trying to say. “I have been with Eleanor for years, and...Jesus, what I'm trying to say is...” Louis seemed to be gathering up all his energy and Harry felt both nervous and sorry. “I... don't remember much from that night, but I do remember getting hammered, and whatever happened at the bar will not and should not happen again.”

“What happened at the bar?” Eleanor's voice startled both of them coming from behind.

Harry was so focused on the fact that Louis did not say he loved her, he did not, when Louis' words burst that bubble.

“Meaningless shit.” was all Louis said before walking with El inside, leaving Harry dwelling on the last two words he said, _meaningless_ and _shit_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beyond excited! Please tell me what you guys think. I would also like to point out that the third chapter may take a while to be up here, because I'm going away for a month. I will try my best to write it before I leave, BUT if I didn't have time to do so, I will try my best to keep writing while on my trip! I promise not to leave you hanging. Please leave comments and kudos, and let me know what you think! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _I've tried playing it cool_  
>  _But when I'm looking at you_  
>  _I can't ever be brave_  
>  _'Cause you make my heart race_  
> 
> 
> \-----
> 
>  
> 
> **One Direction - One Thing**  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos! It means the world to me! As promised, I have finished chapter 3 before going on my trip, but chapter 4 will take a while to be finished and uploaded! Bear with me, it's worth it, I promise!! This chapter is a bit shorter but I tried my best. Thanks again for my friend for beta'ing as usual! Please enjoy and don't forget to leave comments and kudos xx

\------------------------------------

The whole night had been stressful for Louis for many reasons. When Liam told him that both Niall and Harry were coming over, he may have had a panic attack. He vividly remembered every detail of that night at the bar from the moment he laid eyes on Harry until the boy left him standing in shock at his door. But was he going to tell Harry that? No, he was never going to let that happen. The kiss was not the only reason Louis was trying to avoid meeting the green-eyed boy. The way he secretly felt when Harry was around made him feel both scared and confused. He never liked feeling confused, so he always went along with whatever he was used to, whatever made him feel safe and comfortable. Being out of the comfort zone was not something he was ever ready to do.

When Harry arrived earlier, he looked breathtaking, smelled like heaven and God did Louis want to disappear and not feel those knots form in his stomach. This boy did something to him that he couldn’t put into words. He gathered all his strength to try and be around Harry without feeling weird, and it was starting to work out until Eleanor showed up. Louis was not ready to have both his girlfriend and the boy, who for some odd reason made his heart pound so loud in his chest, in the same room together, and he saw the way Harry acted around her. He was not oblivious to the other boy's actions. The way he rolled his eyes at them cuddling or kissing, the way he drank all the beers they bought. The way he even disappeared to the porch to avoid Louis.

He tried his best to deal with this situation but ended up saying things that he may be starting to regret. The words he spat out before leaving Harry on the porch may have hurt him. He wouldn't know for sure, but the look on the boy's face when he shot those bullets at him, was a sign Harry liked him. Or did he? Louis was not sure. They only met once before, and only interacted for a very short period of time, but there was something from Louis' side. He had to say it was meaningless because he believed he was straight. He believes he is. He's been with Eleanor for half a decade, that counts for something doesn't it? But then, why did this Harry make his stomach flip and turn in the weirdest way possible? Why did the way his chocolate brown curls fall effortlessly on his face make Louis want to run his fingers through them? Why did his green eyes cause Louis' every organ to explode in fireworks? And his dimples, man did he want to frame those dimples and fall asleep to the image of them every single night.

Louis' brain was on fire, and he was more than thankful his girlfriend left because the three of them being in one place seemed to make him feel like he was about to explode any second now. However, he still couldn't help but feel sorry for the way he treated Harry. Whenever the boys were talking to him, his eyes would flick over to Harry who had grown quiet ever since their conversation. He looked drunk but also distracted. His eyes were fixed on his phone, as he was scrolling down through whatever it was that he was reading. Louis' eyes were fixed on Harry when he decided he wanted to break this awkward tension in any way possible.

“Let's play a game or something.” Louis' voice rang through the room as it came out a little bit louder than he meant for it.

“Jesus, Tommo, you're even louder when you're drunk!” Liam was covering his ears and leaning away from Louis and Harry was looking at him expectantly. Niall was always like the little child who would get excited about anything, so he positioned himself on the floor and was ready to listen to Louis' suggestion.

“Shut up Liam. Ok, uhm...” Louis' mind went blank as he tried to think of a game they could play.

“Do you have a strong drink? Maybe tequila?” Harry interrupted Louis and stood from where he was seated on the couch and walked towards Niall joining him on the floor.

“What?” Louis looked confused as what this had to do with anything really.

“Erm...it's only a suggestion. Like... we could play 'Never Have I Ever' ...and erm...if you have, you would take a shot...but like if you guys want to...” Harry was stammering and speaking very slowly and Louis thought it must be both from being drunk and from not wanting to force his ideas on the group.

“You. Are. Brilliant. Grab the tequila.” Liam gestured to Louis clapping his hands together and went to sit next to Niall and Harry on the floor.

Louis was starting to feel like this was such a bad idea. They were all drunk and none of the things about to be brought up in the game would be anywhere near appropriate. He was not especially drunk but was not really sober either, so he would be sort of aware of all the drama that was about to take place. “Erm, okay. Who is going to start?” He got up and called from the kitchen as he was reaching for a tequila bottle from the cabinet.

“Harry should since he suggested the game.” Niall said and God did Louis feel this was going to be something he would regret. He headed towards the boys, placed the bottle and the shot glasses on the floor, and joined them.

“Ok...never have I ever... kissed a girl,” Harry said with a smirk causing Liam, Niall and Louis to take shots. Louis was surprised Harry didn’t drink, but he didn’t say anything. Louis knew this was going to get worse which made him tense up the entire game. He kept losing to Harry's 'never have I ever's' because he kept bringing up things only a gay person would do. He was starting to loosen up until Niall's turn was on again, and boy did he have a sneaky look on his face,

“Never have I ever kissed a guy.” Louis froze at that and he felt his heart drop. He did not know whether Harry's kiss on the corner of his mouth would count or not. He was freaking out because he knew Niall saw it and was definitely fucking with him. He was hesitant, his hand going back and forth towards the shot. Was he supposed to take one and let the others ask him questions he was not ready to answer or was he supposed to lie? Just when his now drunken self-decided to reach for the shot anyway, he felt a hand wrap around his wrist,

“You must be getting really drunk, Niall said 'never have I ever kissed a guy', so that leaves me and Liam to drink, right?” Harry's voice was loud enough for everyone to hear, and God did he want to kiss Harry for saving his ass. He didn’t of course.

Louis mouthed a “thank you” to Harry for doing him a favour even after the unnecessary comments he made about their almost-kiss. He smiled at him and his hand rounded into a fist and settled in his lap as he was trying to avoid whether or not anyone could read through his lies.

“But...” Niall was going to say something stupid, and Louis was starting to sweat. He could hear his heart beat so fast, and his hands were involuntarily shaking. He felt like he was about to empty his stomach any minute now. He could not breathe anymore, and his vision was becoming blurry.

“Louis, can you hear me?” Harry's voice seemed to be overcome with a buzzing sound in his ear. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. “Niall get me my phone! It's by the remote control on the couch!” Harry looked scared and that made Louis panic even more. He felt like his throat was closing in and he just wanted to escape his body for a second to scream. That was not the first time Louis had a panic attack, but every time he got one, he felt like he was going to die. And although he knew for a fact it was just an episode, and it will pass, at the exact moment when the attack hit, nothing could convince his mind and body that he was not dying.

Liam was pacing in the room not knowing what to do. Niall handed Harry his phone and moved closer to hold Louis and started mumbling in his ear, “It's ok. It's ok, you will be fine... what are you doing?” He directed the question to Harry who was now reaching for his pocket and grabbing his earphones.

Louis felt something being plugged into his ears, and **[Just Breathe - Pearl Jam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuq7RYQ8Wa0)** started playing. “Breathe for me, Louis. Can you do that, love?” Harry's voice was distant, as the song was playing in his ears. Louis' heartbeats were going up by the second, and he could not talk, he just wanted to run and hide so that no one could see his vulnerable side so that no one could feel sorry for him. He could see Harry's green beautiful eyes full of panic and that scared him even more. Was he really dying? His chest felt heavy and the more he tried to let air find its way to his lungs, the more his body resisted. He felt like he was choking. Harry's hand was shaking when he reached to Louis' ear removing one of the earphones he plugged in earlier. He looked at the ground and seemed to hesitate for a moment before looking back up at Louis.

“Do something! He doesn't look okay at all! Just please, please...just...let's take him to the doctor...” Liam was panicking himself, and he was practically screaming.

“Stay with me, let's just breathe...” Harry's shaky voice was comforting Louis in every way possible as he sang, holding the earpiece in one hand, and Louis' cheek with the other. Louis was doing everything he could, to do what he was being asked by Harry. His breathing was inconsistent and very fast at first but the more Harry sang, and the song played in his ear, the more he was beginning to regain focus. “Breathe, Louis. Yes, just like that. You're doing great.” Harry's hand did not leave Louis as he kept brushing the hair off his face, and kept his eyes fixed on him.

His breathing was going back to normal after almost three minutes, and he was drenched in sweat. He felt like he was drained out of energy and all he wanted to do was go to sleep, but he couldn't move. So, he stayed where he was on the floor, with Niall still holding him, and Harry's hands cupping his cheeks and his comforting voice telling him, “It has passed. You’re okay now.”

Harry's voice, Harry's hands, Harry's eyes, Harry, Harry Harry, was all Louis could think of. For some unexplainable reason, this person who made his breath hitch in his throat was the same person who made him breathe again. He started having panic attacks as long as he could remember. He tried everything, from meditation to yoga. Nothing ever helped him get over his episodes this fast, let alone at all. Harry was unreal. The way he managed to soothe Louis with one song, his voice and his sweet endearing eyes, could not be put into words. He was different. Good different.

Harry's hands left a cold spot on both his cheeks when he ran to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, and left him in Niall's arms,

“Are you going to be okay to get to your room?” Niall asked with worry in his eyes.

“Yeah...I'm fine, I just...can you help me up?” Every muscle in Louis' body burnt and ached. “Thank you.” Louis' eyes were now locked on Harry when he handed him the glass of water. The boy was oblivious to the fact that Louis was actually thanking him for helping him through this, and not for the water. Maybe for both even, but most definitely not only the latter.

“Always.” Harry's eyes were burning a hole through his now very fragile heart. That made Louis crumble on the inside. Harry was probably being his nice caring self, but Louis couldn't help but feel shivers run down his spine, and that was caused by one word Harry said, 'always'.

“Okay, Let's go big boy.” Niall helped him up and started walking him to his room when he said, “stay,” and turned around to face Harry, “both of you. It's late, you're not fit to drive, and...just stay.”

“It's okay, we will take a...” Harry was going to protest and seemed a little uncomfortable, maybe wanting Louis to get the rest he needed when Louis cut him off,

“Please.” His voice cracked a little, and it sounded both painful and sincere. Louis' body and soul were aching, and the least he could do to make it up to Harry, to sweet Harry, was to ask him to stay the night. Not only did he not treat Louis differently after their earlier conversation, but he also helped the boy overcome one of the worst things he faced in his life. He helped him breathe.

“Okay.” Harry looked tired, and he wasn't going to argue anymore. Liam headed to his room, grabbed extra air mattresses, blankets and pillows for both Harry and Niall. The sound of the living room table creaking on the wooden floor was audible from Louis' room. Liam and Harry were dragging it to make space for the boys to sleep on the floor because the couch was not big enough for one to sleep on it, let alone two. They both moved the furniture around and placed the mattresses on the floor. Niall and Harry both fell on the mattresses, and Louis was fast asleep the moment Niall put him to bed. His panic attacks always consumed all of his energy, which usually caused him to sleep right after, or at least just lay in bed to rest it off.

The night felt longer than it actually was, for Louis. The nightmares he kept having prevented him from getting any of the rest he was hoping to get. He woke up about three times, the first was after dreaming of standing on a cliff when someone came and pushed him from behind, and when he was falling, he looked up to see, it was Eleanor. The second time he woke up, drenched in sweat, he had a dream he lost control over the car, which caused him to hit a figure standing in the street and when he jumped out to see who that figure was, it was Harry. The third one he couldn't remember, and he did not even try. He sat in bed and reached over his nightstand in hopes to find a glass of water. There was not, but his eyes flicked to his watch lying there, it said 3:15 AM. He took off his sweat-drenched shirt, and put on a warm grey hoodie that laid in the pile of clothing he had on the floor, and headed out of his room.

He tiptoed his way to the kitchen to make sure he didn’t wake the boys. He caused enough panic and drama for the night, and he was not intending to give them another scare. He poured a glass of water and rested his elbows on the kitchen island, and wrapped his sweaty hands around the glass. From where he was standing he caught Harry sleeping on the floor. He was not wearing anything, well apart from his boxers obviously. But he was not covered in the blanket that Liam gave him, and he looked like a little kid hugging his knees to his chest and sleeping on his right side. Louis left the glass of water in the kitchen and walked over to where Harry slept. He kneeled down beside him involuntarily smiling at how sweet and angelic he looked. Harry's mouth was slightly open in his sleep and his beautiful curls were covering most of his face, and Louis was too lost in every detail about him.

He reached down to him, grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to his shoulders so that he wouldn't get cold. Then he gently brushed his hair away from his face, and whispered,

“I meant it. You're beautiful.” before leaving to his room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _I promised myself I wouldn't fall_  
>  _But every time I see you I just want to risk it all_  
>  **Queen Naija - Butterflies**  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! I'm so sorry it took this long, but as I said earlier I was out of the country and couldn't actually write! I really hope you like this chapter. Sorryyyy for the constant cliffhangers! will get better soon. PROMISE! Enjoy.
> 
> \-------------------------------

Each and every morning Harry wakes up, he rolls out of bed in an attempt to choke the alarm blasting from his phone, and hopefully lead it to its peaceful death. This day was different, the buzzing sound was not coming from his alarm, but rather his own head. The minute he opened his eyes, he was startled from his sleep by this monster of a headache that caused his head to pound so hard. The quite relaxing effects of the different drinks he had the previous night were soon gone and only the unpleasant ones were left toying with him; the bitter taste in his mouth, the striking ache in his head and the helplessness of not being able to clarify his thoughts. He opened one eye, only to shut it back half a second later. The room felt too bright to his own bearing, and every move he made in his attempt to roll off of his mattress seemed a million times louder in his head.

Harry finally managed to get his upper body to function and lift it from where it was laying in an attempt to sit. When he looked beside him, a wrinkled blanket laid half on the abandoned air mattress and half extending on the floor in the kitchen's direction. The room felt too quiet, the whole place felt too quiet even. As he looked around he seemed indeed to be alone. He reached his long arm towards the couch beside Niall's mattress and grabbed his folded shirt, putting it on in a swift motion. When he stood up to get his trousers, his eyes flicked over the kitchen's island, to notice a cup and a sheer glass, the latter had what looked like water while the cup was rather un-telling of what it contained. Slightly to their right, a note was placed balancing in front of a bowl of fruits. He made a quick scan of the rooms his vision could reach while struggling with his trousers, to find that the place was in fact empty. His fingers slowed on his zipper when he reached the island, lifting up the note, which read,

For Harry,

For your hangover:  
Water and ginger tea with honey.

Fruits as well. Loads of fruits!!

L :)

Harry's eyes landed on the bottom of the paper to notice a smiley face drawn with the letter L. He could not help but smile to himself, although he couldn't tell if it was Liam or Louis who wrote this. He was hoping it was the latter. He did not realize how thirsty he was until he downed the glass of water. He grabbed a banana from the fruit basket in one hand and carefully lifted the cup containing the ginger tea in the other. As soon as the liquid made its way into his mouth, he winced at the taste and was about to place it back where it was originally left and head to the bathroom when a slight rhythmic squeaking sound echoed in his ears. He cradled his cup and followed the sound, to realize it was coming from the porch. He stashed the banana between his teeth to free up his hand, tasting the bitter of the peel and held his cup in the other, using his now free hand to try opening the front door,

“Fuck me, this is too bright!” Harry dropped the banana on the floor the minute he opened his mouth to speak squinting at the sun hitting straight into his eyes. He heard a giggle and looked at the swing to see Louis sitting there, wearing an oversized hoodie that made him look both warm and cute, that Harry wanted to just cuddle him. His hair was sleep-ruffled but that made him look even lovelier to Harry. When the sun hit his eyes, the blue in them seemed like the ocean, and Harry wouldn't mind drowning in them if he could.

“Good morning to you too.” Louis said shielding his eyes from the sun and looking at Harry who was biting his bottom lip, his hands tightening on the cup, and was too lost in his own thoughts to realize he may have been staring. He was, but Louis did not have to know that. “Oi, this isn't a jungle. Pick up your banana! I paid for that.” Harry goofily reached for the floor, carefully balancing his hot cup of tea, grabbed the banana and placed it in his lap after taking a seat next to Louis who was fighting a smile.

A beat has passed before Louis broke the silence, “My gir...” Harry blinked more times than he scientifically should. Louis has a girlfriend. Of course he will talk about her, and he should be okay with it. Louis must have noticed because his sentence took another turn, “I.. usually drink that after a crazy night, to detox, you know. The ginger helps with the nausea and dizziness, and the honey gives you a good fructose boost.” So, it was Louis. He had this fuzzy feeling in his stomach, and a smile emerged on his face. His mind wandered and he couldn't help but think why he did that. Did Louis only make this drink for him? Or was he the caring type who usually took care of others? Maybe he also made Liam and Niall the same drink. He must have. Normally, this wouldn't matter really. But this, this felt different.

“Did Liam and Niall both drink that before they...actually... where are they anyway?”

Louis shook his head while staring into the distance, “They have a different routine for detoxing. They drink water and go out for a jog.”

[Bedroom - In My Head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7GciTxOcwU)

Harry felt his heart drop slightly because Louis made it especially for him. He had many questions going through his head, but he was not going to ask them. Not yet, at least. “Oh...that's...thank you.” is what he finally managed to say. It was such a small thing to do but it made Harry's stomach clench, in a good way. In the best way.

Louis was fiddling with the ropes dangling from his hoodie, when his hands trembled and fell to rest on his sides, “Actually...I wanted to thank...erm, you.” Harry's eyebrows were slightly raised upwards with confusion written all over his face. He leaned closer as if to try and read into Louis. “For last night, and to apologize too...erm...for last night as well.” Realization hit Harry's face when the events of the previous night played in his head. He relaxed and rested his back on the swing, smiling into his cup,

“My sister used to get panic attacks when we were younger, much younger.” Harry could sense Louis' eyes boring into his face, and he dared not to look because he felt heat creeping up his face which made his cheeks feel like they are on fire. His face always betrayed him and told him off, so he kept staring ahead,

“She would get them at night, well mostly at night. I never knew what to do at first, and I watched my parents argue on whether to take her to a doctor, or convince her that it's all in her head in hopes she would believe it and relax.”

His eyes flicked over to Louis who had relaxed features, his eyes focused on Harry as if he were telling him a bedtime story. “I...used to sing her to sleep when we were little, although she is older, but I liked singing and she liked sleeping to my voice. She said it soothes her, makes her feel safe.” Harry then turned his whole body to face Louis. “So, one night she had one of those panic attacks but being our nighttime routine, I couldn't skip the singing and wait until she was alright again, so I sang despite the agonizing pain I felt from seeing her struggle. It worked, and at first I didn't know whether it was because of my singing or because the attack was mild but it went by quickly. After that, whenever it happened, my singing was always the reason she felt better.” Harry's face regained focus and realized Louis' mouth was slightly open, and he was looking at Harry with the warmest expression he had ever seen. Louis must have realized the story was over, and that he was staring because he quickly licked his lips and looked down.

Louis' hands went back to fiddling with the ropes and he quickly blurted out, “That's lovely. You...your singing sounds beautiful.”

The pounding in Harry's head was now travelling straight to his heart. He could hear his heart beating like a drum in his ears. He could not understand what this boy was doing to him. He never felt like this towards anyone. He had always been the one-night-stand kind of guy, never letting anyone in. But this blue-eyed beautiful, sweet, caring and steaming hot person sitting next to him made him feel like the ground shifted from underneath him. He often wondered if it was because he couldn't have him, and maybe, just maybe this felt like a challenge to him. His head agreed, but his heart was not buying it.  
Harry licked his lips and smiled, letting out a breath he did not know he was holding, “Thank you.”

He placed his cup on the ground and started peeling the banana. He took a bite, then another when his eyes flicked over to notice Louis looking at him with his tongue slightly sticking out, nibbling the corner of his mouth. Harry couldn't help but smile before eating the rest of it and watching intently as Louis' cheeks turned a slight shade of red from getting caught staring.

Despite the fact that Louis was wearing a very large and warm looking hoodie, Harry may have noticed him shivering a little.

“Do you want to go inside? I have to go to the bathroom, anyway. My bladder is going to explode any minute now!” Louis laughed at that and nodded. As Harry led the way holding the door open for Louis to follow, Louis stopped in his tracks when his phone started ringing.

“Uhh...you go ahead, I have to take this.” Louis' eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he looked down at his phone.

Harry's bladder was surely going to explode any second now, so he ran towards the nearest bathroom, glad that he finally managed to get there without making a mess and embarrassing himself. If it wasn't for that call, he would have stayed with Louis, even if silence was all there was. He was enjoying the boy's company way too much but was thankful he had a good reason to excuse himself and be off. He washed his hands and headed to the living room to tidy up the place where he and Niall slept the night before. Harry never liked a messy room, and he surely was not going to leave a mess behind in a house that wasn't his own. So, he did his best in removing the mattresses, folding his and Niall's blankets and grabbing the pillows and placing them neatly on the couch. After all, he did not want to wander around the house, going into their rooms and putting back the stuff. It was not something he would do, he was raised to be respectful of people's privacy and so, as much as he wanted to go into Louis' room, he did not.

Harry's patience was starting to wear out as he watched Louis pacing on the porch, still on his phone. He was taking so long with that call, and despite Harry's curiosity regarding who he was talking to, he knew the boy felt cold before they decided to go in. He must have still felt cold because every once in a while, he'd see him balance the phone between his face and his shoulder and would put his hands into fists and start blowing in them to warm himself up, it seemed. He did not want to interrupt his call, he really didn't but he couldn't let him freeze outside. So, he grabbed one of the blankets he folded earlier and carefully moved towards the door, opening it slightly to hand it to Louis.

“...every fucking Saturday of every fucking week, Eleanor...” Louis' back was to the door and he must have not noticed Harry standing halfway out, reaching over with the blanket. Harry suddenly regretted his actions, because it felt like he was eavesdropping. He really wasn't.

“Sorry. I..I just thought you might need this.” Harry's chest was peaking through a small crack with his arm extended to hand Louis the blanket trying his best not to intrude on his private phone call.

“Erm...yeah.” Louis looked startled by Harry's presence. Apart from the constant shivering, anger and frustration were all Harry could see on Louis' face. When he reached out however, the way he took the blanket from Harry's stretched out hand was nothing but gentle. And with that, Harry took a few steps back leaving Louis with a click of the door closing behind him.

Harry was planning on leaving as soon as he was done tidying the place and cleaning up the mess he and Niall have left after sleeping over. However, the sight before him left him in a serious inner conflict. Should he leave and give Louis space, one he obviously seemed to be in need of? His head was pushing him to do just that and not interfere, but his heart could not handle the state Louis was in. He looked broken, tired and maybe even fed up. As much as Harry wanted him for himself, he was not ecstatic that this call, with his girlfriend apparently, was crushing him in a way. He wouldn't want to have him if it meant he would be shattered and sad.

He started pacing around, his head rushing with millions of questions and thoughts. His head was overthinking every single detail, the way Louis kept throwing glances his way from where he stood outside, the way he would hug himself in one arm wrapped tightly around his waist. This was a serious call, it definitely was and he realized it might be best if he left. With that decision finally made, he was tripping over his own feet heading to the hangers by the door. He removed his jacket, knocking over a black umbrella with a wooden crook handle that rested by the door. He rushed to try and put it back where it was, failing three times making a loud thump each time it hit the floor, gaining Louis' attention for the first two times. He eventually gave up and lifted it to rest where his jacket was, on the hanger. As Harry gathered all his things, he noticed Liam and Niall were now walking over to the porch, and Louis seemed to have finished his call.

As he was reaching for his shoes, the door creaked open. “So, how was your morning?” Niall asked with a wink.

“Erm...I'm leaving.”

“What happened?” Niall looked genuinely intrigued.

“Nothing. I mean, just want to head home and take a shower, s'all.” Harry was done putting on his shoes and was doing his best not to make any sort of eye contact with his friend. He just wanted to leave and not keep his mind racing with thoughts about Louis. He wanted a day off from Louis' sweet voice, from Louis' ocean-blue eyes, from Louis' warm smile. He had never shown interest in a man for more than a night. But with Louis, it felt different. He felt like he could spent an eternity with him and not ever get bored. He even memorized his smell, and it was freaking him out a little. He couldn't do that, he could not fall for someone that was not into guys, or at least someone who said he wasn't. Those thoughts were making him feel trapped in his own head, and so he pushed his way past Niall bumping his shoulder on the way gaining a “What the hell, mate?” before he opened the door and found himself awkwardly standing in front of both Louis and Liam.

“Mornin' Lou.” Liam was panting from his jogging and had a drop of sweat making its way from his hairline down to settle on his eyebrow.

There was a moment of silence, where Harry felt like he did not know how to speak anymore, and was at loss of words. Louis did not look alright and kept scratching his neck throwing glances at Harry, and Liam was looking between the two of them.

“Is...Is everything alright?” Liam put one hand on his hip, and the other on Harry's shoulder, concern written all over his face.

Harry blurted, “Great” at the same time Louis said, “Brilliant” but Liam was not buying it, it seemed. When it seemed no one was going to explain any more, Liam rolled his eyes and shrugged, excused himself and joined Niall inside.

“Are you..is everything..” Harry was kicking himself for not being able to form a question, but Louis was apparently on the same level as him, because he jumped in to answer the unasked question.

“I'm...yeah...thanks for...yeah, thank you.”  


Harry felt a sudden rush of courage going through his body, as he reached for Louis' hand and looked him straight in his blue, now widened eyes.

“You are too, by the way. Inside and out.”

“I am...what?”

“Beautiful.”

Louis was left frozen in place, as Harry withdrew his hand, turned and started walking home, realization washing over him that Harry must have not been in a deep sleep when he called him beautiful the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyyy...What is going on between Louis and his girlfriend? Were they fighting? Will it affect his 'relationship' with Harry? Who knows?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Eleanor have a serious talk. Will it end well?
> 
> _I just cant get you out of my head_   
> 
> 
> _Boy your lovin is all I think about_   
> 
> 
> _I just cant get you out of my head_   
> 
> 
> _Boy its more than I dare to think about_   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> **Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos! I do appreciate your comments as well, so please do leave some comments. Thanks again for my lovely friend Ester for helping me with editing and such! ENJOY
> 
> \---------------------------

The cold air surrounding Louis while he stood gobsmacked at the porch, was reminding him to come back to his senses. Harry heard him in his sleep. He heard him call the tall curly-haired, green-eyed boy beautiful. If he was completely honest with himself, he did find him beautiful and he shouldn't feel ashamed of acknowledging that. Yet, he was. The reason behind it was kept pushed to the farthest corner of his head, locked in a small black box with an alarm that seemed to go off every time Harry was around. And the boy was inches away from him before he left him in the cold a minute ago. Louis' whole body was shivering and he wasn’t completely sure whether the reason was the thoughts of Harry in his head or the actual cold breeze which caused his hair to dance over his head.

He lowered his gaze facing his heart as he remembered the blanket wrapped around him. The blanket Harry handed him. His heart was warming up his entire body with thoughts of the simple action taken by that boy in an attempt to keep him warm. Warm, that's what he felt, both on the inside and out. His mind was wandering to places it shouldn't. His heart was being dragged into this mess he didn't want any part of. He noticed his lips were doing this strange uplifting motion and realized he may have been smiling against his will. He was brought back from his day-dreaming to the sound of the porch door opening behind him,

“Lou. Fuck, it's getting colder by the second. Aren't you gonna come inside?” Liam was holding the door open waiting for an answer. Louis just nodded and headed inside.

“Erm, do you want to...you know...like talk? Is everything alright?” Liam was now jogging more than walking towards the heater as he held his palms over it alternating between doing that and rubbing his hands together.

“I just...I don't know Liam. I'm...El is being weird again, and I ...” He started pacing around looking fragile with the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders and dragging slightly behind him. It was forming a circle around him making him trip and almost fall face down when Niall grabbed him and held him still.

“Easy mate! Are you still drunk?” Niall looked between the two boys who seemed to be having a serious conversation, feeling like he may have intruded on their talk and quickly said, “Boys, I need to head home and shower. I'll see you later, yeah?” He grabbed his stuff and put on his shoes, then looked at Liam who was facing both him and Louis. The latter boy had his back to Niall which made it easier for him to wave to Liam mouthing a “is he okay?” Liam nodded and made it seem like a goodbye gesture before letting Niall leave the house so the boys could finish their conversation.

“So?”

“I don't know Liam, I feel like ...Jesus, I can't believe I'm saying this, but something is wrong with this.”

“This being ...what?”

“This relationship with El.”

“Mate, to be quite honest, to me, there always seemed to be something wrong with this so I'm not sure I understand what changed things now.” Liam was pushing it. Louis was sure Liam was pushing it and he was going to do some damage control so it wouldn't become a big deal. Not to Liam and certainly not to his own confused head.

“It's just something is especially wrong and ...well, we agreed to go grab a cup of coffee and discuss it. So, I suppose it'll all work out, as always.” Louis plastered a smile on his face and he could have sworn Liam was reading right through him. The boy simply nodded exaggeratedly and said “Aha.” Yes, Liam read through him. He was one hundred percent sure.

When his phone call with Eleanor was coming to an end earlier, they agreed on meeting up around 12:00 PM to talk the issue through. Louis was noticing a pattern in her behaviour, and he was not so sure whether it was recent or if it had always been there and he just noticed it. The latter seemed to stress him a bit because it meant a certain someone entering his life was now making him think of every wrong thing about his relationship. Maybe it was true, but that thought scared him the most. Was he making excuses for the way Harry made him feel? No, he couldn't have been. The problems have always been there, they sure have been.

Eleanor was busy every Saturday, and it wasn't a specific thing holding her up those days. She had different excuses for each one of them. She had to visit her sick grandma. She had a trip with work, which if Louis was being honest with himself, was the most used excuse. She fell in sick. Every Saturday, there was a different excuse of why she wasn't free to see Louis. He never really gave it much attention and changed their weekly dates to Sundays. Whatever triggered him questioning her credibility now was not something he was willing to admit.

He looked at his phone to check the time, and it was almost 12:00. He did not know why he was nervous about meeting his girlfriend. Was it nerves? Maybe he was hopeful? Hopeful of what, he did not exactly know. He grabbed his jacket from the hanger resting next to their front door and was ready to head out.

“Good luck, mate.” Liam was laying on the sofa and his face was slightly directed towards Louis while his eyes stayed on the news channel he was watching.

“Don't think I need that.” Louis smiled and grabbed the door handle muttering underneath his breath “or want it for that matter” before leaving to his meeting with Eleanor.

When he reached the bar they agreed to meet at, he realized it was the one from down the street of Niall's and Harry's. The one where he first met Green-Eyes. The one where he got drunk. The one where he left with thoughts of confusion. His eyes gave a quick inspection of the area and landed on a table close to the bar where Eleanor was sitting waiting for him. He walked over and shrugged off his jacket leaning in for a quick cold kiss on his girlfriend's cheek before throwing the jacket on the chair next to him and having a seat.

“Hi.” His smile was far from genuine, in fact, he was hoping he wouldn't have to be sitting there at all. He regained his energy and thoughts and called for the waiter.

“Hey.”

“So. We're here...” 

The waiter came to their table and held his notepad and pencil waiting for them to order. “Erm...I'd like a latte, please. Eleanor?”

Her face was scrunching a bit. She knew Louis never called her by her full name unless it was either a serious situation or a fucked up one. This was a combination of both.

She settled for “Same.” before allowing the waiter to go fetch their drinks for them.

Louis was fidgeting in his seat. He had made the wrong decision of choosing to sit in a chair that was directly facing the bar. This place was doing things to his stomach he could not put into words. That specific view his eyes were roaming over was bringing back memories from that night with Harry. His first sort of genuine interaction with him. Their first exchange of smooth touches here and there. The memories kept flooding and only then did he begin to sweat, swiping over his forehead with the back of his hand. He was becoming very distracted and that needed to stop. So it was time to address the elephant in the room. Well, the other elephant in the room. He took a deep breath trying to get a grip on himself and his thoughts. He looked at Eleanor.

“Listen, if you want to talk about this like adults, I'm all ears. But please, just please don't give me the usual bullshit.”

“What bullshit Louis??”

“Oh, well, I have to go to the dentist this Saturday. This kind of bullshit Eleanor.”

“But I do, Louis. I do have to go to the dentist. And, hold on a second. Since when do you even...” Eleanor was going on and on about this whole issue and to Louis' ears, it was all a bunch of excuses and pure bullshit. He was not having it, he really wasn't. But he decided to make an effort to actually listen. For some reason, he felt this mixture of wanting to believe her and not caring at the same time. If it was because of Harry, no one had to know. In the midst of it all, his eyes shifted from where they were focused on Eleanor's face and travelled just an inch away, just behind her. Something caught his eyes. A tall figure with curly chocolate brown hair was resting his arms on the bar and chatting to the barista. His back was the only thing Louis could see, and every time the guy looked like he would turn around, he did not.

**[Marvin Gaye - Lets get it on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE)**

His heart started racing in his chest, and his eyes were slowly drifting over to the man standing at the bar every now and then. He needed to know. What if that were Harry? Tall sweet Harry. Green-eyed dimpled-smile Harry. His mind was drawing all sorts of images of these green beautiful eyes. His vision went blurry. Harry lived in that street. This could be him. Of course it would be, Louis thought. God didn’t love Louis, he just didn't and he was planning on making life one hundred times harder for him. This was just another one of those times. He was sure of it. He was starting to breathe faster. This is it, he thought. Panic attack number two in Harry's presence. He was going to up and leave when he was brought back to reality and was awoken from this haze he got himself into,

“Did you fucking hear a word I said, Louis?”

Louis' eyes landed on Eleanor and back on the man standing there. Everything seemed to slow down when the man started to turn around. Louis' eyes were then involuntarily clenched shut hoping and praying. He did not know for sure whether he was hoping that guy was indeed Harry or that he wasn't.

He wasn't.

He released a breath he did not know he was holding and had a rush of both disappointment and relief. He didn't know which was stronger, but if he were to lean towards one or the other, he wouldn't choose the latter. He recollected himself and let his head fall back a little before he said,

“I heard you! You have a dentist appointment.” He wasn't lying after all. He did hear that one sentence she said. Minutes ago, he may have wanted to make a fuss of this issue, but the energy consumed from just thinking for a second that the man standing a short distance away could have been Harry, well that played with his head. He did not know what to think or discuss anymore. He really wanted to figure things out. He wanted a solution, or perhaps the solution he really was looking for was to his own confusion. His phone buzzed on the table, and when he picked it up to see who texted, the expression on his face would quite literally be the definition of 'confused'.

_At 5 baby xx_

He stared at Eleanor, frowned, then looked back again at the text.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” Eleanor was just as confused, it seemed.

This was one of those times Louis had to gather all his energy to act maturely. He wanted to give the person he had been with for years the benefit of the doubt. He took a deep breath, placed the phone on the table, rotated it and pushed it towards his girlfriend.

At that exact moment, he could have sworn the bar went silent, and he could hear both his and Eleanor's heart beats playing the loudest drum beat to ever exist. He was trying, he really was. He was making an effort to justify the text he just received from the person sitting two drinks away from him. But the way her eyes widened once she read the text would crumble every block of faith and trust he put in her. The light of the screen illuminated on her face and all he could see was a face far from innocent.

“uhh...how...I'm sorry. I meant to send that to Kacey. I mean...erm, she asked when my appointment was and...yeah.”

Louis' day had been a literal rollercoaster by then, so he let it slide. He wasn't having any of this, and his head wasn't helping him think clearly. He was questioning far more than only his girlfriend's loyalty. It may not be her fault that he was the way he was at that moment. He needed to stay calm, and so he was.

The rest of their meeting went smoothly as well as awkward. Louis avoided talking more about the issue, and focused on ending their date, if it even counted as one, as soon as possible. And Eleanor kept to herself, smiling down to her phone for the rest of their time together. This was it for Louis. He wasn't planning on staying longer and only wanted to get home and as far away as he can from this place.

As they called it a day, and paid the check, Louis being his clumsy self knocked down the chair when he was reaching for his jacket. It made a loud noise as it hit the floor. He looked around and shrugged apologetically to people glaring at him for the noise he made. He placed it back up and grabbed his jacket. A white piece of neatly folded paper fell from the pocket. He frowned in confusion as he started unfolding the mystery note.

A wave of both shock and heat hit his whole body making every hair on his body stand when he realized what that small piece of paper was. His fingers traced the blank ink that decorated it. His eyes scanned over it as he silently read,

_Thanks again for my lovely hangover fix this morning. Text me if you ever want to talk. H_

Right under it was a phone number, and suddenly, this was the most valuable piece of paper Louis had ever possessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...What's up with Eleanor? And is Louis going to text Harry? Let's find out, shall we?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I've been meaning to tell you_   
> 
> 
> _I've got this feelin that won't subside_   
> 
> 
> _I look at you and I fantasize_   
> 
> 
> _You're mine tonight_   
> 
> 
> **Dirty Dancing- Hungry Eyes**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you everyone for the kudos! I highly appreciate it and I really hope you're liking this! A HUGE thanks goes out to my friend Ester for always editing my chapters!
> 
> Please note that the _Italics_ in the story will refer to Louis' texts while the **Bold** will be Harry's.
> 
> Please enjoy and don't be shy to leave comments. :)
> 
> \----------------------------

[Elton John - Blue Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CiyKeSnSxk)

The minute Harry stepped foot into the flat, he had one thought and one thought only on his mind. Blue Eyes. That's what he secretly referred to the pretty boy he couldn't stop thinking about. For years, he promised himself not to develop any sort of feelings towards anyone. Yet, here he was walking around the house, wondering what the boy was doing at the moment. Was he feeling okay? Was he feeling warm? And the question that brought him back to reality, what happened with his girlfriend? Yes, that's correct. Blue eyes has a girlfriend and Harry should not be having feelings for him.

All thoughts of Louis were rushing through his head like flames, burning down every single part and corner. He needed to tell someone. He needed advice. He needed someone to lie to him and tell him Louis liked him back. He was walking back and forth towards the bathroom as he contemplated whether to knock or not. He gathered all his strength and clenched his fist squeezing it lightly before knocking on the bathroom door.

“I would tell you to come in, but as you probably already guessed I’m buttnaked in the shower, my friend. So stay out.” Niall's voice echoed through the door.

Harry chuckled and held a grip on himself as he said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Can it wait?”

“I mean it can...but...” Harry's phone buzzed in his pocket. He was planning on ignoring it, but it buzzed again.

“But, what? If it's going to be about your toothbrush again, then no Harry. For the millionth time, I did not use it.”

Harry's eyes were locked on his screen, roaming over the two new messages from an unknown number. He typed in his password and opened the messages that were apparently from the same person. His heart almost dropped. “Uhm...never mind. Just...finish your shower. It can wait.”

He walked away from the bathroom and sat on the edge of his bed. The light coming from the screen reflecting in his eyes as he read,

_Cheeky Harry is now shy Harry, I see. Slipping notes in jackets and such. How old are you again?_

He couldn't help but giggle and hurried to read the following message.

_It's Louis by the way. :)_

His back landed on the bed as he threw himself down and held the phone to his heart smiling like an idiot. Strong Harry was now fragile Harry. All of it was because he received a simple text from Louis. He just lay there looking at the ceiling that was now drawing out all sorts of images of Blue Eyes.

“Are you high?” Niall stood there looking at Harry cupping his mouth with his hand trying to hold in a laugh, it seemed.

Harry was startled, not realizing Niall was standing in his bedroom. He got up too fast, causing the phone to fall on the floor face up. Niall just raised both eyebrows and moved towards the phone. Harry panicked and scrambled off the bed to get it. To his luck, Niall beat him and started running around the house reading out loud.

“Cheeky Harry is now shy Harry....It's Louis...Ohhhh” Niall stood there gasping as he realized what was happening.

“Give it to me, Niall.” Harry was now biting his nails and begging Niall with his eyes to not embarrass him more.

“I won the bet!! Wait...Is that what you wanted to talk about? Oh my God, what happened? Do tell, please.”

“What bet?” Harry suddenly jumped closer, ambushed Niall and yanked the phone out of the boy’s hand.

“Nothing.” Niall was laughing and moving away from Harry landing flat-out on the couch.

“Niall James Horan, I am not afraid to torture you and get the truth out. Tell me!” Harry couldn't hold in his laughter as he sat next to his friend.

“Well...about who would crack first.”

“What?? Explain or I will murder you in your sleep.”

“You're too nice. You wouldn't. Uhm...the lads and I knew something was going on between you two, but couldn't put a finger on it. Liam said you would crack and message him. I said he would. So...I win.”

“First of all, you all are idiots. Second of all, it is not funny. Third of all, nothing is going on. You of all people should know that. You live with me, you dumbass. The guy has a girlfriend and ...you know.” Harry was fiddling with his rings as his gaze roamed the place and landed anywhere but his friend's eyes.

“Yeah well, no I don't know. Plus, you wanted to talk to me. Apparently, this is the 'something' you wanted to talk about. So...do talk.”

Harry was never this nervous. He was the outgoing brave kind of guy. He never had issues discussing his feelings. Simply because he never had any towards anyone. No one was special enough for him to develop those deep feelings. This was all new unknown territory for him and that was probably why he had such a hard time opening up.

Niall noticed how nervous Harry was. He sat up and moved closer to his friend. He lifted his chin up and had a serious expression on his face when he said, “oh...you like him, don't you? Like like him...”

Harry only nodded and covered his face with both hands as he exhaled with frustration. “This is bad...God. Why is this happening to me?” He stood up and started pacing around with his hands on his hips. “This is all fucked up, Niall. I like him. He is just...I can't find the right words to describe this. ME, speechless. How? Please tell me how. His eyes are all I think about. The way he talks, the way he walks, the way he smells. God, even the way the sides of his eyes crinkle when he genuinely smiles.” His shoulders fell as he stopped and faced Niall with defeat. “This isn't happening. It shouldn't happen, Niall. He has a girlfriend. Besides I don’t even know if he likes guys like that.”

“Hey...it's okay. Listen, do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to lie?” Niall stood and held Harry's shoulders.

Harry closed his eyes and said, “I want you to lie.”

Niall gently slapped his arm and laughed. “I'm serious.”

“Fine. Lay it on me.”

“Well...Yes, Louis has a girlfriend.” Niall said looking straight into Harry's eyes.

“No shit. You're very smart.”

“Let me finish, you idiot!” Niall was almost shouting but had a smile on his face. Harry shrugged and gestured for his friend to carry on. “But...I am not stupid, and neither is Liam. We see how he gets around you. We notice the way he looks at you. And, yes, we know drunk Louis flirts with you. So...maybe, just maybe, something deep inside him has a soft spot for you, my dear.”

Harry smiled a bit but his smile faded again, “But...he has a girlfriend.”

“I know. I can't help you with this one. I'm sorry, I really wish I could.”

Harry sighed and looked away. “I know. Ugh...this is fucked up. Thanks, though. I was dying to tell someone.” He chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Oi. You didn't reply!”

“What?”

Niall facepalmed himself at Harry’s stupidity. “Oh my God, Louis makes you go dumb. To the messages, you idiot! You didn't reply to the messages.”

It dawned upon Harry all of a sudden. Niall was right. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts and the dilemma he was in, that he totally forgot to reply. Fuck, he thought. What was he going to send now?

Niall patted him on the shoulder and gave him a nod before disappearing into his room. Harry was left standing in the middle of the living room. His mind was sending him through a scary rollercoaster. What if his reply was too forward? What if Louis drunk-texted him? No, that couldn't have been the case. Who gets drunk in daylight? He let his head fall and with an exhale he let his eyes fall on the phone he was holding in his hand. 

“Ok. I can do this. It's only a text, right?” Harry sat on the couch and started shaking his head. “Great, now I'm talking to myself. What have you done to me, Lou?” He ran his fingers through his hair and typed in the first thing he could think of. No need to overthink it, he thought.

**Sorry about that. Wanted to let you know I'm here if you needed anything. Hope you're feeling better. H**

As soon as he pressed 'Send', He released a breath he didn't know he was holding. That wasn't too bad, he thought. He placed his phone on the table and headed to the kitchen to see if there were any leftovers for him to eat. While his head was buried deep in the fridge, he heard his phone buzz. He hit his head on the shelf in the refrigerator before standing up straight and running back to the living room, almost tripping on the way there.

_I was joking, no need to apologize. It was nice of you, actually._

Harry's day just turned from awkward to amazing because of a simple couple of texts from a certain someone. He sat on the couch, crossed his legs and decided this was going to be a great day.

**Slipping notes like a stalker is called nice these days?**

“Ok, that was a stupid attempt of making a joke. Oh my God, Niall was right. Louis does make me go dumb, and now I'm talking to myself again. Great.” He sighed and started praying his message didn't sound too weird and corny. The phone buzzed again. He had a feeling he was going to start to like the sound of that.

_Haha. Well, I don't know about that...but I meant wanting to make sure I was alright.That...was nice_

Harry smiled and kept the conversation flowing.

**Oh. Well, are you?**

After all, Harry was genuinely concerned about Louis’ wellbeing. Given the way he left him earlier this morning, he needed to make sure he was feeling alright again.

_Nice? Of course I am. Haha_

**I meant ...are you alright?**

_God, Harry. You're like an old man. You have no sense of humour._

How was this even possible, Harry thought. He was the confident kind of person. His sense of humour wasn't his best asset but he never felt embarrassed for being called out for it. Yet, this beautiful man made him question everything through a simple text message.

**Oh. Sorry.**

_Do I make you nervous now? That's a first. Haha. I'm obviously kidding. Stop apologizing._

What did Louis mean? Did he mean Harry makes him nervous? Harry did not ponder much on it and typed in a reply.

**Haha, I'm just not very good at texting in general. Can't read people well through texts.**

_Oi! Did I make you laugh just now?? Hallelujah! The man does have a sense of humour… ;)_

Harry had indeed laughed. He felt different. Louis made him feel different. Harry sighed. He realised at that moment that he would be falling head over heels for a straight man and he wouldn't even care. Because that man would be him. Louis.

Blue Eyes...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who's to say where the wind will take you_
> 
> _Who's to know what it is will break you_
> 
> **U2 - Kite**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for taking this long to publish. I had been going through personal stuff that took me away from writing. I'm so so so sorry. I hope you enjoy this chapter though!! A lot is going on and now the fun begins!! Please leave comments.
> 
> \------------------------------------

Over the past few hours, the sound of the “ding” Louis' phone made every time he received a new message from Harry, was becoming his new favorite melody. Ever since he met this green-eyed gorgeous man, he was trying with all his power to escape or suppress the feelings he had whenever Harry was around. If he was failing in his efforts to do so, no one would have to know and he wasn’t about to admit that to himself either.

He spent his evening pacing around the house, trying to understand what he was doing. He was, once again, questioning what it was that this Harry guy made him smile so wide that his jaw began to ache. He thought he loved Eleanor. He truly did. But the question he couldn't answer was whether that love was the real thing or maybe he was afraid to admit that he had been in a relationship just for the sake of it and because it had always seemed convenient and safe. He was feeling torn. He was so lost in thought that he found himself touching the exact same corner where Harry had kissed him the night he was drunk. He had been out of it, yes. But the one thing he vividly remembered and had engraved into his memory was that gentle kiss.

His phone again made a “ding” sound and woke him up from his daze. He picked it up, ready to continue the apparent thread of endless messages between him and Harry to find out it was Eleanor instead. That woke him up from his daze, alright.

_**I'm off to my dentist appointment. Will meet you after. X** _

Louis found himself not caring as much as he thought he would. Right this second, his girlfriend could travel to a whole different continent and he wouldn't really care that much. That thought scared him. Thinking of Harry was giving him joy and excitement, yes. But, the reality was that he had a girlfriend and besides he was straight… right? And Harry… Well, he knew so little about Harry that he couldn't even think of one whole scenario in which both of them could be together as anything but friends.

He was driving himself crazy with his own thoughts and decided to give it a rest and go do something other than pace around the house texting Harry. He had to get out, get some fresh air and sort his thoughts out.

“I'm off to buy a pack of cigarettes. Do we need anything from the shop?” He called out to Liam as he started jiggling his right foot into a pair of his shoes.

As he finally managed to get his foot in, Liam showed up behind him with his hands resting on his hips, making Louis stop what he was doing and look up at him in question with one foot shoed and one in only his sock. “Are you alright? Like, seriously, feeling okay in the head?” Liam said in a surprised tone as he started feeling Louis' forehead for any signs of fever.

“What the fuck are you doing, mate? I'm fine! Are you??” Louis slapped his hand away and continued putting on his other shoe.

“Never in all of our years of being flatmates did you ever ask if we needed anything. I always did the shopping while your lazy ass laid on that sofa! Of course, I’m worried”

“Fuck off you dickhead! I changed my mind. Buy your own milk, Payno! Bye bye!” He may have heard Liam shouting and begging for the milk while he was walking away. He smiled to himself and flipped him off as he headed out, knowing he was gonna bring it for him anyway.

It wasn't cold outside but it wasn't warm either. It was the perfect weather for a walk, a walk Louis needed for sure to think about everything going on in his life, especially with Harry. He secretly loved the attention of that sweet boy, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to openly admit to that. He kept opening the messages on his phone and reading the texts over and over again. They put a smile on his face and he could feel that rush of excitement; the one a person gets at the beginning of a relationship. Relationship…? Where did that come from? It made him stop in his tracks and move his finger to the lock button on his phone. But fate had other plans. A new message was received.

**I don't really have anything interesting to tell you, but I really wanted to talk to you.**

That message did stuff to Louis' stomach, that he couldn't describe in any other way than butterflies. He felt like he was gonna vomit any minute now. Not because he felt sick. No. It was because Harry made him feel things he never had before. Beautiful things. He wasn’t just smiling with his mouth. His eyes were smiling along and twinkling. He was trying to cover his whole face while stepping into the shop because he feared everyone would be able to see the reason for his happy appearance. He couldn't stop. He grabbed a carton of milk for Liam, since he was that nice guy, asked for the cigarettes, gave the man behind the counter some money, and started typing while he waited for the change. What he sent may have been bold of him, but at that moment he didn’t care one bit.

_Seeing your name pop up on my screen made me grin like an idiot._

He hesitated for a minute before sending, eyeing the man handing him the change, and indeed smiling like an idiot.

“Sir...” The man seemed to have been calling him for probably the third time.

“Yeah..uhm..sorry, mate.” Louis laughed and took the change. He pressed send just then and stepped out of the shop.

Right across the street from the shop was the building where Eleanor's dentist had his clinic. Although Louis was feeling very confused and not exactly sure how to feel towards those mixed emotions he had for Harry and for his longtime girlfriend, he thought he’d be nice and send her a text. It was around the time she might have been done with her appointment. He was already here, and he thought that maybe she would want him to wait for her. So, he picked up his phone and started typing.

_I'm across the street if you want to leave together._

He finished typing and was about to hit send when a car went passing by very fast. The wheels slipped into a puddle and almost splashed him with the stinky mud-mixed water when he looked up and quickly jumped backwards.

“Watch it, asshole!” He looked up, shouting at the passing car. The minute the car disappeared, a sickening view was now clear for his eyes to see. His hands fell beside him as he watched his girlfriend kissing her dentist goodbye. On the lips. It felt as if all the air was sucked out of his lungs for a second. His feet nailed to the ground.

He received a new message. He was so fixed on the scene unfolding before his eyes, that he had a hard time moving his gaze to his phone. It was from Harry.

**You’re not an idiot. I like your smile.**

One minute ago, he would have reacted differently to the sweetness of the boy’s message. However, a lot could change in a span of a minute. He slowly locked his phone, put it in his pocket and took two steps back.

His arms fell beside him which made the carton of milk hang down as he walked as far away as he could from the scene. He didn’t know what to think, or how to feel. His relationship with El might have been going through hard times lately, and yes, maybe deep down he knew they didn’t work together. He even knew it in his heart that he was only staying with her because they had been together for so long. But, the thing that kept eating him up was the fact that she cheated. This feeling of betrayal made his heart break a little. She did mean something to him after all.

He kept walking with feelings of defeat, not realizing his feet were dragging him to one particular place... Harry's. Maybe he needed someone to talk to. Yes, he had Liam, but for some reason, he felt that the shoulder he wanted to lean on was Harry's.

He stopped at the doorway, contemplating whether to knock or not. He did.

Louis waited a few minutes before someone opened the door. He looked up, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it right away. 

“Hello?” The person standing at the open door said as he eyed Louis.  
Louis sneaked a look at the door number. Yes, this was definitely Harry’s apartment. Who was this guy? And why was he answering Harry’s door like this? Unless… His chest started aching. He was too late…

**[The Paper Kites - Too Late](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bGva6Y3jRY) **

“Uhm...S..sorry..? I must have...uhm...” Louis fumbled in his speech as he exchanged questioning looks with the stranger. He was a tall, very handsome guy, around Harry's height. He had two dimples, one of which was more distinct than the other. He didn’t even have to smile for them to show. The man wasn’t wearing a top which made his lean muscles show. He was very fit and sweaty. Sweaty...Louis pondered on that and started walking back.

“Did we order ...milk?” The guy asked.

Louis looked down at his hand and slowly raised the milk with a nervous laugh. He seemed to have forgotten how to speak at that moment. His arms fell and he almost ran away from the door.

He felt his stomach turn and didn’t know what to do or where to go. Did Harry have a boyfriend? Did he get one recently? Was he sleeping with that hot guy? Did WE order milk… that’s what he said, WE… Louis' head got even more confused than it already was. He felt like he was losing everything in his life. His girlfriend cheated on him and if he ever had a slight chance with Harry, then it sure was long gone the moment he stepped foot in that doorway.

This was all too much to handle. He needed to forget about what happened. He needed to numb the feelings that were messing with his mind. El might have cheated on him and even though he might have felt hurt by it, he would have survived in the end. But that was when he thought he had Harry...What he was thinking didn’t make any sense. He needed to make the pain go away the only way he knew how right now...to drink it away.

He rushed to drop the milk carton off at home as fast as he could so he could have the chance to go to a bar and get wasted. He walked back to his place hoping and praying Liam wouldn’t be there. He wasn’t. He quickly left the carton on the counter, not even bothering placing it in the fridge, and ran out to the closest bar he could go to.

When Louis reached the bar that was two blocks away from where he lived, he sat at the bar, ordered the strongest drink they had and placed his phone on the counter. It flashed in front of him to show him he had 13 missed calls and 4 messages. He contemplated whether to open the text messages or to just ignore the fact that his phone was exploding with calls and texts. He set his phone aside for a minute and asked for a tequila shot before even finishing his drink. He quaffed the shot in one gulp, grimaced, and ordered another.

As he was starting to feel the alcohol spreading through his veins, he reached for his phone and opened one text after the other. The first was from Harry...he took a deep breath and read,

**Did you know that looking at your screen for a long time makes your eyes go blurry? Ps. I might have been waiting for a message from you. :)**

He felt sick. He didn’t know what was happening. He shook his head and read the next 3 messages which were from Eleanor...He felt anger bubbling in his stomach.

_**I'm done with my appointment. Should we go to my place or yours?** _

“I am most certainly not going anywhere with you!” He blurted out loud while scrolling down.

_**Are you taking a nap? I'm in the street. Should I wait, or should I go home?** _

“You should probably go to...HELL!” His voice went up a notch at the word _hell_ , making a few heads turn around to look at him with questioning expressions.

“What are you all looking at?” He spoke loudly and turned to the person sitting next to him, “mind your business, will you?”

The person raised his palms in defense, rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair leaving him alone with the last text message.

_**Louis! Why aren't you answering my texts, or calls...?!!** _

He couldn't take any more of this nonsense. So instead, he kept ordering drinks until he was about to pass out from being wasted.

He didn’t know whether it was his drunken state, or his anger, or maybe the mixed feelings he was having. But, something told him to text Harry. He needed to do that. He needed comfort. He felt such an urge, and so he complied.

_I needd youi Hazz..._

He started laughing as he pressed send. Right after the text was gone, he noticed the errors but couldn't care less.

“Oi..bartender man person..you. Do you think he will reply?” Louis started drunk talking to the bartender, who seemed to be smiling at his state and offering him another drink. He didn’t answer his question. How could he anyway? Louis was drunk and talking nonsense. At least that's how it seemed to the bartender.

His phone buzzed. He picked it up and looked. He held it in many different angles to try and read the text he received. He was drunk, alright.

**Are you okay? Where are you?**

_Suuure. The bar...the one withh beautiful lights ...and nosy people_

**Are you drunk? Lou, can you share your location?**

“Oi...Mike...is your name even Mike? You look like a Mike to me.” He laughed through his words and handed the bartender his phone. “Could you do this thing...where the location...uhmm. I need to share where I am with someone.”

The bartender seemed to have read through his mumbling and pressed some buttons on the screen. “Done.” He smiled at Louis and handed him back his phone.

It might have been minutes or hours. Louis couldn't tell the time by then. He’d had too many drinks and the next thing he knew, two people were standing next to him. Harry and a guy...and oh God help Louis. It wasn’t just any guy. It was the guy from Harry's place.

“Lou...Are you okay??” Harry seemed worried, even scared perhaps.

Louis' eyes moved from Harry's beautiful face to the person standing next to him.

“You're the milk guy! Hi, I'm Steve.”

Harry looked confused, looking between Louis and Steve. But Louis didn't really care to explain any of it. He himself needed some explanation. His heart dropped and at that moment he felt all the alcohol in his body evaporate. He sobered up all of a sudden and felt a rush of emotions. Anger, sadness, pain....and then sickness. He stood up holding his hand to his mouth, and before he could run to the bathroom, he emptied his stomach on Steve's shoes...

He deserved it, Louis thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm the first to admit that I'm reckless_   
> 
> 
> _I get lost in your beauty_   
> 
> 
> _And I can't see two feet in front of me_   
> 
> 
> \---------
> 
> **Fool's Gold - One Direction**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO IS STEVE??!
> 
> Thank you for all those who are following this story. I hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it! I'm again and again sorry for taking time to post. I promise I will try to post faster in the coming chapters. Please enjoy it and dont forget to leave kudos and comments. Read away, to find out who Steve turns out to be after all.
> 
> \-------------------------------------

Worry was written all over Harry’s face first when he received Louis’ call for help, and again when he walked in and saw his miserable state at the bar. He made all kinds of scenarios of why he was looking the way he did; family problems? Not quite worth this misery. Work problems? He did not even know what Louis did for a living. He made a mental note to ask him about his job later on. Was it his...girlfriend? His stomach turned a bit at the thought of Louis having a girlfriend. When he made his way to where Louis was seated, his friend Steve tagged along, who probably regretted coming when Louis emptied his stomach on his shoes.

Panic seemed to be written all over Louis’ face after the incident. He did not even say a word. He merely inspected the person belonging to those feet as his eyes made a slow scan reaching to the face of a surprised and sort of disgusted guy. Harry felt bad. For Steve? For Louis? He did not know for sure, but it was probably for the latter. He watched with his mouth agape as Louis wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and ran to the door.

“Lou...” Harry called knowing Louis wouldn’t turn around anyway. But he felt the urge to follow him and make sure he was alright. He grabbed Steve’s arm tightly and gave him the ‘I’m sorry’ face as he ran after Louis.

The minute he stepped out of the bar, he started walking right then left, and in circles like a lost puppy. He wanted to find him and make sure he was okay. He needed to. “Louis!” He called as loud as he could. He rested his hands on the sides of his waist and walked to the right searching the corners. The light in that street seemed to be not working properly as it kept flickering. Harry’s chest was going up and down as if he had been running miles and miles. He felt defeated and nervous. He was worried.

Just as he was about to give up looking, he heard a cough followed by a sniff right under the broken street light. He snapped his head in the direction of the sound and walked over to the pavement.

“Louis? Oh...Lou.” He slowed his steps and looked around before taking a seat next to the boy. His hand was going for a comforting back rub but he retaliated quickly. He ran his right hand through his hair as his left leg extended while he reached for a tissue from his pocket with the left hand. “Are you...are you okay?” He dared to ask, handing Louis the tissue he grabbed.

“Is Steve okay?” Louis asked not facing Harry and quickly grabbing the tissue. The latter noticed his raised eyebrows and the high pitched ‘Steve’ in his question. Any other day, he would have questioned the reason, but for now, he decided there were more important things to address. So, he didn’t. Instead, he ignored Louis’ question and tried to rephrase his question.

“Is everything alright with you? You seemed...in pain, I guess?” He started playing with his rings, the way he would every time he got nervous.

“Very fit.”

“What?” Harry felt lost. He furrowed his brows and looked over to Louis questioningly.

“He is like those magazine kind of models. The ones you pay money to just watch them flex and look pretty. Very fit. His name works for that too. Steve...”

“Oh.” Harry couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. He couldn’t even form a decent reply to that. There wasn’t a question involved anyway. Was he ...jealous? He shook his head and laughed at his ridiculousness.

“I see you’re the one debating with your head now?” Louis’ smile appeared under the flickering light as he looked up to watch the sky above. Harry could live for that smile. He never liked seeing Louis upset. Not even over a stupid thing such as losing in a drinking game. He liked that smile that made his eyes crinkle. This smile though did not extend to reach his eyes. No crinkling in the eyes. No real happiness. The boy looked broken. He was, for sure.

“I...I don’t want to pressure you, or...or ask about your personal...stuff...” Harry took a deep breath and turned his whole body to face Louis, “but I want to know you’re going to be okay.” His eyes did not leave Louis’ face as it inspected every bit of its details.

“Ah! Going to be? I mean eventually, sure. Am okay at the moment? Does getting too drunk that I texted you to come, and puked my guts on your...Steve, mean I am at the moment? I doubt it.”

Harry took a moment to process. My...Steve? What did he mean by that? He crossed his legs halfway through and bent his arms resting them on the pavement behind him. “Do you want to talk about it?” The question seemed stupid, but he didn’t wanna invade Louis’ privacy with questions that might annoy him. So he decided to take a different approach.

“No.” Was all Louis said.

“Okay.” Harry simply replied and sat there in silence next to Louis, who looked broken and defeated and made Harry’s heart break in two.

Silence filled the air as they both sat there just admiring the sky above. Harry's head filled with many questions and Louis' eyes filled with misery. Harry couldn't take it any longer. He wanted to know who hurt this blue-eyed sweet creature. He wanted to make sure he could see his sarcastic laugh and sassy behaviour again. He thought he would probably regret pushing him too far later on, but he had to let him express his feelings. He took a deep breath and went for the question.

“So...how's...uhm...Eleanor?” His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was sure he was invading Louis' privacy.

Louis' whole body shivered. He seemed to be suffering to express whatever was on his mind. He laughed and shook his head without saying a word.

“I'm...sorry. I just...I just want to know who hurt you, for fuck's sake! I just want to know why you're feeling the way you are at the moment. I want to...” Harry blurted out of frustration before being cut off by Louis.

“Why do you fucking care, Harry?? Huh?! Why does it even matter to you?!”

“Because I care!”

**[Dirty Dancing – Hungry Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oKUTOLSeMM) **

Louis stood up quickly and looked down at Harry before he joined him on his feet “There is no fucking Eleanor anymore, ok?! So will you not mention her name or talk about her or about anything at the moment??? And please don't pretend you care! Why are you here anyway? You left Mr Muscles inside! Go get him!” Louis rolled his eyes and was going to leave when Harry caught his arm and held him close.

Harry did not know what he was doing, but he felt the need to hold Louis and make him feel like everything was going to be alright. He wanted him to feel safe and...loved.

Louis looked defeated and frustrated as Harry locked eyes with him. A single tear dropped from Louis' right eye, and Harry instantly reached up to wipe it with his thumb. His heart started beating as he touched Louis' face. He wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to make him okay again. He also wanted to run away and never come back. He felt so many things at that moment and before he could even process what was happening, Louis started leaning closer. His lips almost brushing over Harry's before Harry took a step back.

“You're...drunk...and you just broke...”

Louis took three steps back and looked a million times more broken than before.

“Lou...I'm...”

His eyes did not look up to lock with Harry's. Then he was gone.

Harry's head was spinning, his chest felt heavy and his hands were shaking. He couldn't put into words the emotions he was feeling at the moment. If he was going to be honest with himself, he really wanted to kiss Louis. He wanted to hold him. Hell, he wanted to be with him regardless of what they would end up doing. But, not like that. Louis was drunk and broken and this wasn't the way he pictured their first genuine interaction to be like, if it ever happened, that was.

He let out a breath filled with frustration as he walked back to the bar. His eyes roamed the place looking for Steve. He couldn't see him anywhere. Fuck, now his earlier training had lost all of its purpose since he was feeling antsy again and really needed to let out some frustration. He couldn’t blame Steve. No personal trainer should have to put up with being vomited on.

He picked up his phone and started typing a text message to let him know he was leaving the bar and see if they could still meet up somewhere when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Steve hadn't left. He was still there.

“Is he okay?” Steve asked squeezing Harry's shoulder in a comforting motion, guiding him to where he was seated.

“I think I fucked it up even more...I just...” Harry rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. He looked at Steve's shoes and chuckled, causing Steve to playfully punch him on his shoulder shaking his head as he laughed. His shoes looked all wet. Steve must have gone into the bathroom to clean them while Harry was outside. It looked like he just held them under the water altogether.

When they both eventually sat down, Harry started blurting out, “I don't even know what's happening to me anymore. He broke up with his girlfriend, which I should feel good about...or bad...I guess? I don't know and he just...his lips...and I wanted to...but he is drunk...and I'm...”

“Hey, hey, hey! Slow down, Harry. Breathe, buddy. I couldn't understand a word you said. But whoever makes you feel the way you do at the moment, and have you freaking lose your sense of speech, well...I think you know where I'm going with this.” Steve chuckled and reached over to Harry, pinching his chin playfully as he lifted it up.

“None of this is making sense to me. None of it. He had a girlfriend for fuck's sake, yeah? He said he wasn't into guys. Maybe not literally, but he insinuated that...sort of. And...and...he got upset with me when it happened before.” Harry was playing with his rings again.

“First of all, it looks like he never actually told you he wasn't into guys. Second of all, what is it that happened right now, which apparently happened before? Did you...kiss?”

“I...don't wanna talk about it.” Harry said.

“Mhm.” Steve smiled.

“Sort of kissed.”

“Okay...”

“When we first met and ... tonight.”

“Okay...wait, what?” Steve let out a loud laugh and moved closer to Harry.

Harry felt like he was letting out too much information he really wasn't ready to share. He fidgeted in his seat and looked at his phone, hoping he would find something from Louis. Stupid thought perhaps, but if wanting to hear from Louis made him stupid, then so be it.

Nothing appeared on his display except the time. 11:55 PM.

“Listen, I honestly don't know what's going on with you. But, do you wanna hear what I think?” Steve scooted over to Harry and rested his arm on his shoulder.

Harry looked tired and not really willing to hear any harsh truths, but he still nodded.

“Okay. You obviously like the guy.”

Harry tilted his head, “No shit?”

“Let me finish, you idiot.” Steve chuckled. “But do you know what I also think?”

“That I am an idiot for feeling the way I do?” Harry started tapping his foot. Steve reached over and held his leg still.

“I think he likes you too.” Steve smiled and retaliated in his seat with a victorious smile on his face.

Harry snapped his head in Steve's direction, “What are you on about?”

“Okay...who did he text when he felt hurt?”

“Uhm...me, but...”

“Who initiated the 'sort of kiss' out there?

“He did, but...”

“Harry, don't give me the he-isn't-into-guys bullshit. Maybe he thinks he isn't, but no straight man I know initiates any sort of intimate action with another man, just because he is drunk or broken. Wouldn't he show up at one of his close friends' doors after being heartbroken instead of yours??” Steve then realized he had forgotten to tell Harry that last information.

“Wait... what?? What do you mean??” Harry’s heartbeat could be heard from miles away.

“Fuck! I didn't even ... Harry, he showed up when I was at your place. He had a carton of milk or something. I didn't even know what the guy wanted. I thought...I just ...fuck I asked him if we ordered milk...turns out he was there for you. He needed you...”

It all clicked and Harry understood why Steve called Louis the milk guy when he saw him earlier that night.

“He was at my door?” Harry simply asked and Steve nodded.

“He was at my door.” He simply repeated.


End file.
